God was bored. God spent a lot of time bored. He wasn't bored at the beginning, oh no, He had lots to do then. Too much to do. That's why He created Ygddrasil and the other gods - it gave Him some free time. Too much free time. First He thought one of His daughters might provide entertainment. Nope, not much there. So He decided to toss in her sisters. A few laughs, but they got boring quick. So He decided to make a mortal into a god, toss him in with his daughters, and see what happened. Some judicious meddling, a few strings pulled, a wish or two arranged... Now THAT's entertainment. There was something missing though...something He couldn't place. He liked His little pawn, the guy was always good for a fun time, but He was getting bored again. Time to see what the mortals do for fun. Hmm...fiction...not a bad idea. Multiple universes? Hey...this has potential...infinite universes? This could be fun. Some creations, a change here and there...not bad...not bad at all. What else do they do...fanfiction? Self-insertion? Hey...now what if I toss in My little pal? He needed some training anyway... This WOULD be fun. *** Christopher Angel Presents: GOD'S TOY Cycle 1.1 - Bubblegum...CHRIS?! A Ygddrasil Production inspired by: BUBBLEGUM CRISIS Japanese Copyright Artmic, Inc. and Youmex, Inc. North American Copyright AnimEigo, Inc. *** Sylia looked down to the floor of her lab in disbelief. An unconscious man had just...appeared there. She didn't even move as Priss and the others walked in. "What the hell is this?" Priss demanded. "Someone break in?" She cracked her knuckles. "He's gonna regret it..." The man was of European descent, probably with some Middle-Eastern thrown in from his facial features - thick black hair, a nose like an eagle's beak, a strong chin, and a light tan with extensive freckle. Somewhat handsome, Sylia noted absently. He was huge, probably just under two meters, and built like a linebacker. He wore black pants and a light green shirt, over which he had a dark green trenchcoat. "He's cute," Nene exclaimed. The other three women looked at her and she wilted. "Whaaat?" Suddenly, the man groaned and opened his eyes, looking up at the four women gathered around him. His eyes locked on Sylia. "Hot brunette." They flicked to Priss. "Another hot brunette. Red eyes." To Nene. "Very hot redhead." To Linna. "Extremely hot brunette." His eyes closed again. "Excuse me?" Sylia said. Suddenly the man's eyes shot open, and he shot up to a sitting position. He turned his head slowly and stared at Sylia. "Sylia Stingray. Priss Asagiri. Nene Romanova. Linna Yamazaki." He fell back to a prone position, and covered his face with his hands. "The Knight Sabers." A gasp escaped from the women, and he slowly dragged his hands down from his face to glare at the ceiling. "KAMI-SAMA...YOU JERK!" There was a roll of thunder. Sylia started in surprise. In order for a thunderclap to be heard in her labs, it would have to be almost destructively loud on the surface. "What the hell is this?" Priss demanded. She reached into her jacket and pulled out her firearm, and released the safety, she pointed it at the man who was still lying on the floor, cursing up a rather impressive storm. "You better start talking, buddy..." The man looked at the gun and scowled at her. "Typical Priss reaction," he growled, and...blurred. In the blink of an eye Priss felt her gun wrenched out of her hands and found herself looking into the barrel. "Never point a gun at someone who can take it away from you." He stood, and the women backed up from his large frame, Linna and Sylia falling into combat stances. The man ignored them and snarled up at the ceiling, pointing a finger at it like he was lecturing someone. "I didn't mind when you messed up my life and gave me three sisters I never asked for. I didn't really mind when you made me a prize for a couple girls. But if you think I'm going to sit here and play along like some damn toy for your personal amusement, you've got another think coming, you jackass!" Thunder rolled again, louder this time. The man recoiled for a moment, then laughed bitterly. "What are you going to do? Lightning bolt me and reveal to all of Megatokyo where the Knight Sabers operate from? HA! You wouldn't dare you meddling, stuck-up, amoral, high-handed..." he continued to rant while the Knight Sabers watched, dumbstruck. "Who the hell is he yelling at?" Priss demanded. Nene was searching through her handbag for her firearm. "He's a nutcase, and he has Priss's gun! We've got to do something!" Sylia turned to hit the alarm button to signal Mackie, when she noticed the control panels on the wall sparking. "What the..?" she stared at the walls around her and noticed the blue energy dancing across the controls like a living being. Every so often, a tendril of energy would reach out towards the giant man, but so far, none had made it. Sylia made the mental calculation of the power level required to do that, and came to the conclusion it would be fatal to anyone. She grabbed Nene, who had just found her AD police issue handgun, and threw her to the floor. "Get down!" She yelled to Priss and Linna, and dove to the ground. Priss and Linna, their reflexes tuned by long combat training, followed her. "...and another thing," the man continued, not having stopped his tirade, "you good-for-nothing holier-than-thou jerk, what the hell makes you think I even want to play around in this world, anyway? I mean, for Tyr's sake, this place is a bloodbath! How on earth could you be so STUPID as to put me here, you egotistical, IDIOTIC..." Any further speech was interrupted as a gigantic arc of power exploded from the walls, striking the man with a thunderous crash. For a handful of very long seconds, the man yelled in surprise and pain as the power coursed through his body, and then the electrical discharge ceased. A moment later, the man slumped to the ground, the clothing on his upper body charred into ash by the immense energy that flowed through it. His body smoked as he lay groaning on the ground. Linna looked up from where she was and stared at the man, then turned her gaze onto her friends. Her face was pale, and she felt cold. She absently noted she was probably in a bit of shock. "Does anyone know what just happened here?" she asked in a quavering voice. *** Chris's first sensation upon waking up was the feel of metal. Not cold metal, but the unmistakable sweaty feeling skin got when it was forced to be in contact with naked metal for an extended period. He shifted uncomfortably, and felt panic begin to set in as he noticed he was restrained. Hearing voices, he decided to feign sleep for a few moments longer. "He's a boomer, he's gotta be! Did you see how fast he moved?" Priss's voice, Chris decided. "I've scanned him repeatedly, Priss," another voice said. A bit deeper, more refined - it had to be Sylia. "He's as human as you or I." "How did he get in here?" Chris inwardly frowned upon hearing that voice. Linna or Nene, obviously, but it wasn't clear which one. "He just appeared," Sylia replied, a hint of strain in her voice. "A boom of displaced air, and he was there, unconscious, on the floor." "Are you feeling all right, Sylia?" A fourth voice asked. *The gang's all here, and they're as confused as me. Figures,* Chris mused. "Welcome to my life," he muttered. "So, he's awake," Priss's voice droned. Chris's eyes flew open, and he found himself looking into a pair of red eyes. He blinked, and the view expanded to reveal a rather pretty face that was currently sneering at him. Chris's eyes flicked around, and he saw the other members of the Knight Sabers around the room, their attention focussed on him. "Hello, again," he sighed, then scowled at Priss as he noticed her playing with her gun. "Ms. Asagiri, I'm quite well restrained, and it's obvious you won't kill me until your illustrious leader's curiosity is satisfied. Could you PLEASE put the gun away? It makes me nervous." Priss snorted and turned away as Sylia came to stand by Chris's side. He looked up into her emotionless face and felt a small bit of fear. This woman could decide to kill him outright if he made the wrong move. "Well, young man," she began, "would you like to tell us who you are," she paused, and her eyes hardened. "And how you know who we are?" Chris snickered. "Young man...oh Tyr, that's funny," he chortled. "For your information, young lady," he drawled, "my name is Christopher Angel, age 22, electrical engineer." He grinned. "Call me Chris." He frowned up at the ceiling and sighed. "Highly knowledgeable on the theory and mechanics of technology thirty-five years out of date, oh fun and joy," he complained. "As for how I know who you are...um...well, it's kind of silly." "Pray tell," Sylia said with an arched eyebrow. "Um...where I come from," he paused and grimaced. Chris just knew this was going to suck. "You're an anime. Bubblegum Crisis from Artmic. Sylia Stingray and her band of mercenaries, the most attractive fighters ever to hit the screen. Blood, guts, mecha, violence, and fan service, oh my. Hey, I do believe I'm babbling." Sylia and the others gaped at him. "You can't honestly expect us to believe that?" Linna demanded. Chris shrugged as best he could with his arms in restraints. "It's the truth." He winced as a screen in the wall opposite him sprang to life with a burst of light. "And here's the Boss..." he sang, and scowled at the screen. "So, what's the big idea, you nutbar?" >DO YOU REALLY WANT TO GET ZAPPED AGAIN, MY SON? "No particularly," Chris replied. He smirked over at Nene who was playing with the computer under the screen, trying to trace the connection to its source. "Good luck, Ms. Romanova, you'll need it." He looked back up at the screen. "So what's the story?" >EVER HEAR OF FAN-FICTION? NICE IDEA YOUR PEOPLE HAVE. I DECIDED TO TAKE IT TO THE LOGICAL CONCLUSION, AND MADE A MULTIVERSE. "You have GOT to be kidding me," Chris exclaimed. "Wait, no, you don't lie," he sighed. "So why am I pulling a Becket?" "Nene," hissed Linna, "where the hell is this coming from?" "I don't know!" the hacker almost sobbed back. "It's like it's coming from nowhere!" >WELL, I LIKED THE SELF-INSERTION IDEA...BUT IT WOULD NOT BE MUCH FUN IF I INSERTED MYSELF...AND YOU NEEDED SOME TRAINING ANYWAY... Chris said in a bored tone of voice. "So you decided to do Chris-insertion. Yaaaaaaaaaaay. I'm going to die, Kami-sama" "Kami-sama?" Priss repeated in a scandalized voice. "Who does this guy think he is?" "God," Nene replied absently as she tried another tracker program "God?" Priss repeated. "God." "That's insane!" Linna protested. Nene shrugged. "That's what they're referring to. Trust me, I'm Catholic." "You're taking this well," Linna said with a bit of surprise. "I'm Catholic," Nene repeated, as if that explained everything. >WHY DO YOU BELIEVE YOU ARE DOOMED, MY SON?? Chris glanced at the rest of the Knight Sabers, who were watching the proceedings with a mixture of confusion, shock, anger, and in one case, indifference. "First of all, the death toll due to boomer rampages and other...incidents is enormous. Second, even if my hosts were willing to put up with me, which I DOUBT, I'd have to freeload, since all my learning is based on WAY out of date material. Third, I can't feel Ygddrasil. That means I'm essentially a normal human being unless I practically overdose on aspartame, and even then I'm not very useful. Finally, I know what's going to happen! I'm going to try to interfere and I'm going to get killed, Boss!" Sylia frowned. *'Essentially a normal human?'* she wondered. *What does that mean?* >ONE, *SIGH* THERE IS NOT MUCH I CAN DO ABOUT THAT. I MERELY CREATED THE INFINITE MULTIVERSE, THE PEOPLE IN THIS DIMENSION MADE THE CHOICES TO CREATE THE WORLD THIS WAY. TWO, DO NOT SELL YOURSELF SHORT. SO YOU ARE NOT A TECHNOLOGICAL WIZARD, THEY DO NOT NEED ONE. THREE, YOU WILL HAVE ACCESS TO YOUR POWERS, BUT IN A MODIFIED FORM. FOUR, I WIPED MOST OF YOUR MEMORIES OF THIS WORLD. "You WHAT?" Chris screamed, and did a sort of mental diagnostic. "I'll be damned. You did." He frowned slightly. "I suppose that's fair." >YES. AS FOR YOUR POWERS, THEY WILL ACTIVATE NOW. An odd tingling sensation came over Chris, and he felt the table beneath himself begin to mold to his body. A sudden rush of energy flowed through him, and he noticed that he was sinking - through the table. A moment later, he hit the cement floor of the lab, and looked up through the person-shaped hole in the table. He touched the side of the hole, and the table seemed to melt where he touched it, and a dark substance flowed under his skin up into his body. "Nanites," he murmured, and laid his hand down on the metal, watching the material flow up into his body. "Fucking NANITES." Chris shook his head violently. "I'm a boomeroid?" he whispered, and tears began to fall down his face. "You BASTARD, you stole my FUCKING HUMANITY?!" An arc of electricity danced over him, and he fell unconscious. >SYLIA, MY CHILD, I HAVE A FAVOR TO ASK OF YOU. OF ALL OF YOU. Sylia blinked and stared at the computer screen. "M-me?" she stammered, as even the most stoic of facades failed. >MY SON WILL NEED TIME TO ADJUST. HE IS ALONE, IN A WORLD AND A TIME HE IS NOT WELL PREPARED FOR. DO NOT REJECT HIM, OTHER DAUGHTERS OF MINE DID NOT, AND NEVER REGRETTED IT. YOU WILL NOT EITHER. PLEASE, HELP HIM. Sylia said nothing for a moment. What do you say when in a four hour period, a man has appeared in your lab, been shocked into unconsciousness TWICE, has shown evidence of nanomachines in his body decades ahead of the time, and some completely untraceable person has just asked you to take care of the guy? "I will," promised Sylia. Somehow, she knew things were just beginning. >THANK YOU. With that, the screen blanked out. "Damn it!" Nene cursed and threw her hands up in frustration. "He's gone!" "I'd like to go down in the record now for saying I really hate this," Priss noted, and scowled down at the comatose man. She suddenly got a puzzled look on her face. "Hey, is it just me or is he bigger?" "PRISS!" Linna gasped, scandalized. Priss gave her a peeved look. "I meant TALLER," she said defensively. *** For the second time in a day, Chris woke up to stare at a metal ceiling. This time, though, he didn't feel metal at his back, he felt...plastic? Chris blinked and tried to sit up, and noted with exasperation that he was still restrained. "Excuse me?" he tried, and another pretty face looked over at him. This one was framed with red hair. "I could get used to the wake up service around here," he muttered under his breath. "Good...morning?...Ms. Romanova." "Rise and shine," she said cheerily, and then looked over her shoulder. "Sleeping beauty's awake again!" A few steps echoed through the room, and Chris found yet another attractive face looking down at him, this one belonging to the leader of the Knight Sabers. "Hello again, Ms. Stingray. I don't suppose I can get up now?" Sylia looked over at Nene. "Has it stopped?" "Yep!" the hacker nodded. "He stopped absorbing stuff almost fifteen minutes ago." "Absorbing stuff?" Chris wondered out loud, and then is face twisted into a horrified but resigned grimace. "Oh, yeah, the nanites. Oh joyful joyful, I'm a boomeroid. So what's the verdict? Am I still mostly meat?" "Legally, you're not a boomeroid," Sylia told him. "You've only gained about thirty kilos of body mass, making you about twenty percent artificial, still well under the seventy percent limit." She smiled condescendingly. "Although you now top 2.1 meters, so you'll really stick out in a crowd." "Yay, maybe I can try out for the NBA. Wait I don't play basketball. Is there even an NBA? Of course there's an NBA, what would MJ do? Baseball? You've got to be kidding me." he noted the surprised expressions on the two women's faces and chuckled. "Babbling again? Welcome to Chris' Lateral Thinking Theatre, leave your sanity at the door." "Do you do that a lot?" Nene asked as she tried to suppress giggles. "Not usually," Chris admitted, "but I've been having a bad day, you know?" He tried to shrug, and made a noise of irritation. "Can you let me OUT of this thing? PLEASE? I promise to be good!" Sylia made a sort of guilty start and pressed a control. The restraints immediately loosened, and Chris sat up on the bed, and looked curiously at the silvery dust that spilled off his body. "Aluminum," Sylia supplied. "It was what the first table was made of, your body took it in until it could replace it with something better, which appears to be some alloy consisting of titanium, tungsten, steel, and technetium." "So in other words, while I was out, you sat there and played with the nanomachines," Chris muttered. "Did you have fun?" Nene smiled. "It looked really wild when that block of tungsten just kind of melted into your chest," she told him. "We got it recorded if you want to see it." "Shades of T-1000," Chris muttered. "Thanks but no thanks. So now what?" "Well," Sylia began. "We do need to talk, Mr. Angel. I'd like an explanation of what went on earlier." She and Nene began to walk towards the door to the lab. Chris sighed. "Sure, but prepared to hear some really weird shit," he warned, and swung his legs over the side of the table. "Excuse me?" he called, and the pair of women turned. "Where are my pants?" Nene wordlessly indicated a pile of carbonized fabric in the corner of the room. "Oh. Man, that was my favorite shirt!" he complained. *** A shiver washed over Chris and he straightened his back to dispel the residual discomfort from it. He wasn't really used to being in the same room as four exceedingly attractive women when he was fully dressed. In his current state of undress it was something akin to torture, and the incredibly...high class nature of Sylia's living room wasn't helping, neither was the suspicious looks Mackie was giving him. He looked morosely at what was left of his attire. His shirt and jacket had been burned to a crisp, and his shades had been turned into a melted, mangled mess. Only the shoes and pants had actually been salvageable, and thankfully fit, even though the pants were a few inches too short. "Shades of puberty," he muttered. "Alright," Priss growled, settling the cannon she referred to as a gun on her lap. "Talk." Chris sighed and leaned back in his chair. "Where to begin?" He frowned for a minute, then brightened. As Nene opened her mouth to speak, he pointed an admonishing finger at her. "If you say 'at the beginning,' you're going to suffer through a really bad James Earl Jones impression." He noted the blank expressions from everyone but Mackie, and stared up at the ceiling. "No wonder this world has so many problems." "Are you done being a smartass?" Priss demanded. "I have just begun to quip!" Chris declared with a grin, then ruefully shook his head at the combined force of five glares. "Ho-Kay....let's see. Where I come from, I'm a god." He chuckled at their shocked expressions, and continued. "Christopher Angel, God of Moments, Protector and Brother of the Norns, Aesir, and all-around-great-guy." "You're insane," Linna said for the rest of them. "Well, yeah," Chris admitted, "but that's beside the point. No really, I'm a god. One of whole heaps of them. We run the universe so THE God doesn't have to...or rather, we run my universe." He spread his hands sheepishly. "I expect the Boss just left this one to run by itself." Sylia shook her head. "You can't honestly expect us to believe that." "Sis," Mackie piped up, "no offense, but if I'm supposed to believe your story about what happened in the lab, why shouldn't I believe what he's saying?" Linna giggled a bit. "He's got a point, Sylia." "Since I can't prove otherwise," Chris continued, "I suggest you take my word for it," he offered, and Sylia nodded grudging acceptance. "What else do you want to know?" "Let me field this one," Priss barked. "What the hell are you doing here?" "Don't ask me, I'm as much a victim as you!" Chris snapped. "I was just getting used to one change in living conditions when He decides I should jump into this damn universe! It's not my freaking fault that I'm His personal entertainment device! First He rips me out of a decent internship to go halfway across the world. Then He gives me these weird powers that no person should have. Then He starts messing with my friends' lives!" He took a deep breath and slowly let it out. "Frankly, you should count yourself lucky you just got me." The others just stared at him, and finally Linna spoke. "Now, I believe you," she said. "No one could get that angry over something they made up. No one would make something that goofy up anyway." Priss snorted, but nodded her agreement. "It sounds like something out of an anime," Nene said, and then looked insulted as Chris burst out into laughter. "Ms. Romanova, remember to me, this entire world WAS an anime." "I've got a question for you about that," Sylia said. Chris arched an eyebrow at her. "Why 'Bubblegum Crisis'?" Chris shrugged. "The common belief is that is has something to do with a bubblegum bubble just about to pop, and the awful mess it leaves over your face once it does," he explained, then chuckled slightly. "But I just think they chose it because it sounded cool." "It sounds ridiculous!" Priss declared. "So does Neon Genesis Evangelion and Martian Successor Nadesico, but those are real anime names. Record of Lodoss War too - I mean, what happened to the 'the'?" He paused, and shook his head. "Too bad He didn't send me into Magical Twilight or F^3." Chris ran his hand through his hair, and winced as metal dust fell. "Anything else? If not, I'd like to borrow your shower, Ms. Stingray, this Tinkerbell impression I'm doing is downright irritating." Sylia nodded and rose, leading Chris down into her labs where there was a shower he could use. As she handed him a towel and soap, she looked him up and down. "So you were a fighter where you came from?" A low chuckle rose from Chris. "I'm not the best, in fact, I'm probably bottom of the list among the Aesir - those were the War deities of the Norse Pantheon. But you tend to pick up a few things after a year in the Combat School of Head Knocks." "Don't you mean 'Hard Knocks'?" "Nope," Chris said as he shut the door on her. "If I messed up I got knocked around the head, get it?" He grinned at her pained expression, and locked the door. He leaned against the cold metal for a few minutes, reviewing the events of the past few hours in his head. He began to rhythmically pound his head against the metal. "Great, smartass, what are you, stupid? Let's just mouth off to ALL of them, why don't we?" He put his face in his hands. "Where did I pick up this talent for making an ass of myself, anyway?" As he stripped, Chris shook his head ruefully. "Nice bunch. Priss is a little bit on the hostile side, but what do you expect from a retrothrash singer like her?" He turned on the shower and played with the temperature for a few moments. "But by Tyr, they're a quartet of centerfolds, especially Nene and Linna!" he continued, and sunk his voice into a lecherous drawl. "In the immortal words of Yacko and Wacko....Heeeelllooo NURSE!" Chris stepped into the shower, banged his head on the low ceiling, and began working on washing his hair, repeating the process a few times to make sure all the dust was removed. As he moved down onto his chest, he looked with a bit of disgust at the amount of skin space he had gained. "Well, could be worse," he mused, "I could have been dumped in Ranma 1/2." He suddenly shuddered. "I don't even want to know what I'd look like as a girl." He began to soap down his body, a tune rising from his throat to echo off the walls. "You could say I lost my faith in science and progress. You could say I lost my belief in the Holy Church. You could say I lost my sense of direction. You could say all that and worse..." *** Sylia shook her head in dismay at the closed door, and made her way back up to the other Sabers. She walked into the room, poured herself a shot of whiskey, and threw it back. She took a deep breath, then poured herself another before returning to sit with the others. "I know how you feel," Linna said sympathetically as she watched their leader's actions. "This is just TOO weird. I keep on expecting this weird dream to end." "*I* think we should just waste him," Priss said bluntly. "Rule One, remember?" Nene stared at the singer in shock. "That's murder!" she exclaimed jumping to her feet. "He's done nothing to us, and you just want to kill him? No way!" "It's the rules," Priss countered, and rose to tower over the red-head. "And he's a risk! Better safe than sorry!" "Priss, Nene, calm down!" Sylia ordered sharply. "Killing him is not an option," she said firmly, and then turned a coldly amused gaze on to Priss. "And if we're talking about rules, what about Rule Three?" She glanced at Linna. "Or Ten? Or in all our cases, Rule Nine?" She shook her head and then took a long sip from her drink. "Besides that, I promised...WHOMEVER that was that I would watch out for Mr. Angel down there." Her face twisted in distaste. "It could be worse," Nene giggled as she went to sit down. "At least he's not as bad as Mackie," she ignored the indignant shout from his direction, "and he's a hunk!" She made like she was holding a ball with her hands. "His arms are as big around as my leg!" Linna nodded in agreement. "I wonder how he's built in...other areas?" She blushed as the other Sabers gave her scandalized looks. "Jeez, a guy calls you hot and you melt all over him," Priss said in a disgusted voice, flopping down in her seat. "Indeed, control yourselves," Sylia added. Linna and Nene exchanged smug looks. "Sylia-and-Priss-are-jealous! Sylia-and-Priss-are-jealous!" they chanted in a sing-song. "I AM NOT!" Priss roared, and the singing pair laughed. "If you guys want to see, take a look," Mackie called from Sylia's computer. The women exchanged confused looks, and then walked over to the terminal. There, on the screen, was the image of Chris in the shower. Mackie backed away to let the women watch the computer. Sylia reached out and punched a key, activating the audio. "...quartet of centerfolds, especially Nene and Linna!" A small cheer rose from Nene. Linna smiled at Priss's nonplussed expression. "Feeling a little green?" Priss began to snap back at her, when she caught the singing coming from the screen. She pushed Nene out of the way and listened carefully. "That's Sting," she murmured. "If I Ever Lose My Faith in You, 1993." She glared Nene into silence as the red-head began to speak, and listened further. "He's got a good voice. Baritone, too low for that song, but very good." Linna suddenly made a choked noise that got the other three women's attention. "Sylia, which shower is that?" Mackie decided this was a very good time to vacate the premises. "The one in the lab," Sylia replied, confused, and then an angry scowl came to her face as she realized what Linna was getting at. Priss began to swear, and Nene's face flushed with fury. "MAAAAACKIIIIIE!" *** The salesman stared in glee at the giant of a man who walked in the door. Finally, someone other than one of those ridiculous bodyguard boomers to clothe. "Can I help you, Sir?" The man smirked down at him. "Let's start with shirts, shall we?" He jerked his thumb over his shoulder at the red-head and brunette who followed him in. "I think they're a bit embarrassed to be seen with me like this." "Right away, sir!" A few hours later, Chris had managed to find a few plain T-shirts that fit him without being too tight, as well as some dress shirts in various dark shades of the rainbow. The pants were an assortment of jeans, both blue and black, as well as a couple Dockers. The ensemble was crowned with a forest-green trenchcoat that swirled around Chris's legs as he walked. He practically skipped out of the store, Sylia's credit card nearly a hundred thousand newyen poorer. "I thought guys hated shopping," Nene complained as she lugged along a bag of clothes to Linna's minivan, the only vehicle next to the Knight Saber's actual trucks that Chris could fit in. "I'm weird that way," Chris cheerily replied. "I get this unbelievable thrill out of spending someone else's money." He dumped his several bags in Linna's van, then took Nene's and Linna's burdens and did the same, just in time to feel a twinge from his midsection. "Hmm...Chris hungry," he rumbled in a neanderthalic voice. "Chris need food now." Linna sighed and locked the back of the van. "Any requests?" "Sushi!" Chris cheered. Nene made a retching noise. "Yuck! How can you eat that stuff?" She glanced over at Linna who nodded agreement. "Pick something else...like burgers!" Chris suddenly burst out laughing. The two women started in surprise, and then both began to look rather irritated as their companion leaned against the van and doubled over was he laughed. "What's so funny?" Nene demanded. Gasping in an attempt to catch his breath, Chris pointed a shaking finger at the pair. "The two Japanese want burgers, and the North American wants sushi. How's that for weird?" He shook his head mirthfully, and straightened. "Fine, fine, burgers." As the trio walked, they found themselves at the receiving end of multiple stares, some of them fearful. They often heard the word "boomer" whispered from one person to the next. Linna and Nene found it amusing at first, especially the way people made to move out of their way, but as Chris's temper degraded with each whisper, their humor left them. They were just about ready to strangle someone by the time they reached the restaurant. They were led to a window seat, where Chris ended up sitting next to Nene and facing Linna, so that his feet were out of the girls' way. "If this is what I get to look forward to when living here, this is really going to suck," Chris complained. "Jeez, I thought boomers were these big huge hulking things..." he trailed off as he considered that sentence. "Just like I am now. Oh joy, oh happy day." "Actually," Nene mused, "you're taller than most of the BU-55's, they're usually only 2 meters tall." "Great," Chris groaned sarcastically, "I'm MORE imposing than a boomer. This is supposed to make me feel better?" He heard someone clear their throat beside him, and he turned to glare at the person. "WHAT?" The waitress jumped in fright, and Chris smacked himself on the forehead. "Sorry...sorry..." It took the poor girl a few moments gather herself. "W-w-would y-you l-l-like to o-order now?" "Garden salad," Chris said. "With lemon slices, no dressing." He noticed the his two companions staring at him. "Well excuse me for not eating meat," he said defensively. Linna was looking him up and down with an incredulous look. "You really don't seem the type, Chris. Somehow I picture you with a big huge greasy hamburger in your hands." "Yeah," agreed Nene. "With lots of fries and a big milkshake..." Her eyes glazed. "I guess we know what SHE wants," Chris chuckled, watching the diminutive red-head in her trance. "I'm not a vegetarian, I just don't like eating a lot of meat. I got more than enough of that as a kid." Linna made her order quickly, and the three talked as they waited for the waitress. "Have you considered what you're going to do here?" Chris nodded his head, a look of dismay on his face. "Not a clue," he admitted. "What can I do? I'm an engineer, yeah, but in technology and techniques more than thirty years out of date. The computers I was using in my day are primitive compared to your watch." He looked at his hands. "Gee, I know how to program...wait, thirty years later, I'd be surprised if you do low-level code-jockeying like I know anymore. I am to Megatokyo what an nineteenth century scientist would be to my era. Worse, even - I'm Sir Francis Bacon playing with a superconductor." Nene patted him on the arm sympathetically. "Don't worry," she soothed, "we'll find something for you to do." She winked at Linna, and began listing things of on her fingers. "You could work at the Silky Doll..." "NO WAY!" "...or maybe some modeling - some girls like the hulking type..." "I'm flattered. Not." "...or you could join ADP..." "Yaright." "...OR," Nene let the word hang in the air, drawing out the suspense, "you could always talk to Priss. She thinks you've got a great singing voice." Chris considered that one. "Well, I DO have six years of vocal training, one of it formal," he mused, then his eyes widened. "How exactly do you know about my singing voice?" he asked in a very even, controlled voice, first glaring at Nene, who blushed sheepishly, then at Linna, who tried to look innocent and failed. "I think I'm going to have a very long talk with Mackie." Linna looked alarmed. "Now Chris, wait, there's no need to do anything bad to him," she began. "Oh please," Chris interrupted with a disgusted look. "Do I look like the violent type?" He got a mock indignant expression on his face. "I like to think of myself as a big teddy-bear, thank you very much," he said in an injured tone, and Linna looked relieved. "No, I was going to ask him to help me get some pictures of you four...after all, my room will need decorating." He held his hands up like he was straightening a painting. "Picture it. Life sized posters of my four new friends wearing nothing at all..." "CHRIS!" Nene and Linna gasped, scandalized. "...but their skinsuits," he finished smoothly, then grinned evilly. "Gotcha." "Ooooh...you," Nene fumed, and then punched him in the shoulder as hard as she could. "JERK!" "Oww!" Chris yelped, and rubbed his wounded shoulder ruefully. "You pack a mean punch in such a little frame." He looked around peevishly as his stomach rumbled. "Wherefore my food is? Hungry am I!" On cue, the waitress came out of the kitchen, doing the amazing balancing act usually involved in getting the food to the table. As she reached their table, she took a glance out the window and froze completely. The dishes she carried slipped from her numb finger and went crashing to the ground. Nene and Chris yelled in complaint, but the waitress merely pointed a shaking hand at the window. "Oh shit," Chris said softly. Outside the window was a large hulking humanoid figure. It was a good twenty centimeters shorter than Chris, but was much broader in the shoulders, upper body, and hips. It was covered in tatters of plastic-seeming flesh and cheap clothing. At its feet was the mangled remains of a business man. As they watched, the boomers mouth opened grotesquely large and a brilliant blue beam shot out of it, turning the ADP squad car that was entering the scene into a orange-yellow fireball. "Linna..." Linna had her cellular phone out, and was punching a number on it frantically. "I know! I know!" she yelled as she sunk down in her seat. Nene had already done so, and was now peeking over the window to watch the boomer's rampage. She shrieked as car not too far from the restaurant was detonated by another blast of the mouth-cannon. "Nene," Chris spoke in a strangely calm tone, "how long does it usually take ADP to get to the site of an attack?" "About ten minutes," she replied. "Why?" She then noticed Linna on the phone and hissed, "Tell Sylia to hurry!" "Linna," he continued after moment, "how long does Sylia say she'll take?" He stood, and was looking around the restaurant. "She put her ETA at fifteen," she said. "She told us to try and head down the street for a rendezvous." "I see," Chris said evenly. "Let's go." He picked up his jacket from beside Linna, threw it over his shoulder, and started to run out of the deli, the two women hot on his heels. He stopped just before the door. "Which way?" Linna pushed past him roughly. "Follow me!" she cried as she dashed out the door, thankfully turning right, away from the boomer's area of control. They ran down the block, hitting the ground once when another explosion occurred behind them. Chris stood and looked behind them, and what he saw sent a shiver down his spine. The ADP had arrived ahead of schedule, but were woefully under equipped. The boomer was making short work of the front-line officers, literally tearing them apart at times. Chris knew if he had actually eaten he would have been busy emptying his stomach at that moment. Nene and Linna noted the shock he was in and grabbed his arms, dragging him along as best they could. He shook them off after a few steps as they went by an alley, and darted in side. The women followed him. "I have to do something," he said in carefully controlled voice. Linna and Nene exchanged a nervous look, and Linna spoke. "Chris, now hold on, we'll just wait until Sylia gets here with the suits..." "And how many people will die before then?" he demanded. "No freaking way." He closed his eyes and his forehead wrinkled as he went into deep concentration. A sort of dark shadow rose into his face, and then a silvery sheen formed on his skin. As the two women watched, Chris lost inches of height and girth as armor formed over his skin. On his face, the metal grew out into a sort of helmeted shape, with a slit for eyes and a grill over the mouth. Chris' shirt became tight over his arms, then burst suddenly as a long blade extended from his right forearm, seemingly growing out of his arm as it lengthened to nearly three feet. On his left arm, a similar blade formed, much shorter and wider, the blade growing in general area but not in length until it looked like a shield more than a blade. His shoes exploded under the sudden pressure from inside as alloyed boots formed over his feet. "That...hurt," Chris gasped, then looked himself over. As the two women gaped at Chris' sudden transformation, he scowled with disgust at the remains of his clothes. "Good thing I wasn't wearing the jacket," he muttered. He turned his helmeted gaze onto Nene. "Remind me to strip next time I do this." She sort of nodded dumbly as he handed her his jacket. Linna gasped and grabbed Chris' upper arm. "Are you insane?" she yelled. "You've never fought a boomer before!" "So I'm supposed to let it make mincemeat out of some innocent people?" he demanded. Nene found her voice again, and decided to join the argument. "You're not supposed to go get yourself killed!" Chris made to hold up his hand in surrender, and the two women yelped and jumped back as the blade rose through the air. "Sorry," Chris said sheepishly, and his upper body heaved with a sigh. "Look, we've got a couple minutes before Sylia gets here. I'll do my best to play it safe, and just give the thing another target instead of cops and innocent people to blow up, OK?" "IT'S NOT OK!" the pair insisted, but Chris ignored them and started walking out the alley. Linna ran to put herself in her path, but he used his shield-arm to gently but firmly push her out of the way. "I'm sorry, Linna. I just can't do nothing." He walked out into the street and faced back the way they had come. "Now, let's see what he did about my other powers," he murmured. He began to run towards the combat, his speed picking up as he ran, until he could feel more than hear the wind his passage made as he moved. *So, instead of a time freeze, I'm kind of like the Flash,* he decided. He made an experimental jump, and landed back on the ground with a slight stumble that sent sparks off the cement. *Damn. No flight, it seems. I wonder if I can do force bolts?* *** "Uh...Leon?" Daley called, rapping on the outside of the powered suit. "You called?" came back Leon's voice, a slight artificial twang to it as it was piped by the suits pickups. A moment later, a panel on the front of the suit swung open, revealing Leon's face. He was currently busy putting the suit through its startup checks. "Damn K-11's," he swore. "I can't wait until we get those K-12S', these things are a pain in the ass." "That's my point," Daley insisted. "That boomer's fusion-capable. Remember the last time someone went up against a fusion-capable boomer in one of these? They picked him up with a straw." Leon began to sweat and turned a bit green at the memory. "Don't remind me," he pleaded. "The tech-boys tell me that I just have to make sure it doesn't touch me for long, and I should be safe. Relatively," he amended. "Just be careful, OK?" Daley asked, and then smirked slightly. "And when you come back I'm all yours, sugar." "Not tonight, dear," Leon replied automatically, and they shared a short chuckle. With the completion of the pre-startup checks, a whir of powering up micro-motors and the hiss of hydraulics signaled the activation of the suit. Daley backed out of the way as Leon guided the lumbering suit towards the scene of the battle. As he reached the engagement area, he realized 'massacre' would have been a better word for it. The causalities among the ADP were already in the dozens, and the fire from the short machineguns and shotguns the front-line officers were using was doing little more than making a pretty light show on the boomer's armor. To make matters worse, some idiot had tried to go hand-to-hand with the monster, and had managed to do little more than get himself killed and provide the boomer with its own machinegun to use on the ADP. As Leon watched, his powered suit moving through the gap in the barricade the officers formed, the boomer ran out of ammo and decided to go back to using its internal weaponry. Panels on the boomer's chest swung open, revealing the reflectors and lenses of a heat ray. Seconds later, a patrol car was nothing more than a pile of molten metal. As its sensors picked up Leon's approach, the boomer turned to face him. Leon brought up the huge monstrosity known as his suit's main weapon, and fired a burst of the caseless rounds at the boomer. It leapt out of the way of the shots, but not quite fast enough, and its left arm was shorn off at the elbow. Rocket boosters snapped out of the monstrosity's back, and it changed the direction of its leap to bring it closer to Leon, who tried to lock on for another shot. The second burst missed entirely, and Leon was rocked as the boomer landed on him. A metallic snarl tore from its throat as it tried to use its wounded arm to fuse with the suit and thankfully failed due to Leon's struggles. It then tried to fuse with the suit's gun, but before it could Leon threw it off with a punch from his free manipulator. Leon cursed as the onboard computer reported damage to the left hand from the punch, and opened a com-link. "Damn it, Daley, we need some heavy artillery here! Where the hell are the guys with the Gerlich?" With a crackle of static, Daley's voice came back over the channel. "Some idiot forgot to replace the barrel, we have to pull one from the next unit. Think you can last five minutes?" The Gerlich was an incredibly powerful rifle that was known to punch holes through entire blocks of buildings with a single shot. It was the favorite tool in the ADP armory for a quick-kill. Unfortunately, it went though barrels almost as fast as the guys in supply could get them. "Do I have a choice?" Leon bitterly returned, and tried to lay another burst on the boomer. This time, it leapt right towards him, over the fire from the machinegun. The tips of its fingers glinted as the razor claws were deployed, and Leon couldn't even react in time to stop them from shearing the gun in half. He tried to punch away the boomer again, but it weaved around the fist and then tore the whole arm off, sending Leon flying through the air as it did so. The suit flew through a storefront and lay in a tangled heap. "LEON!" Daley's voice burst into his ears. "Are you OK?" "What does it look like?" Leon said as he tried to level the suit back to its feet. "Crap, my optics are screwed, where the hell is he?" Silence was his only response. "Daley?" Nothing. "DALEY!" "Leon," his partner said in a kind of awed voice, "you have to see this." "What?" "Some guy in armor just walked into the engagement area." Leon made a kind of grunt, and gave up trying to bring his suit back to operational status, and began working on getting himself out of the thing. "Yay, the Knight Sabers here again to save the ADP." "This isn't the Knight Sabers, Leon, there's some guy here that looks like he's made of metal standing there! He-it's got this huge blade on one arm and a big shield on the other!" Daley's voice was getting into the hysterics range. Leon practically tore the cockpit open and looked out at the combat, and stared with his jaw agape at the sight. A guy, with what seemed to be a medieval helmet on his head and these ridiculous weapons was facing off against the boomer, which seemed almost as surprised as everyone else. *** "Shit, that's gotta be Leon," Chris growled as he came on the scene, and saw the power suit fly through the air and go crashing into a store. "I hope he's not hurt," he prayed as he made his way through the officers. He was almost at the barricade before someone thought to stop him. "Hey! What the hell do you think you're doing?" an officer yelled at him. He leveled his shotgun at Chris, and chambered a round. "What are you supposed to be?" "I'm saving lives," Chris returned, and his right arm blurred. The shotgun was sliced in two right between the officer's hands. "And I'm out of your league." With that, he jumped over the battered patrol car that was the last part of the barricade, and walked into the battlefield. The boomer turned to face him, and stopped as if surprised. For a long second Chris and the boomer merely looked at each other, and then almost as if it shrugged the boomer leapt at Chris, the tips of its remaining hand gleaming. Chris dodged the attack, side-stepping to allow the boomer to ram itself into the car behind him. Chris backed up a few steps as the boomer tore its way out of the car, and then fired its mouth cannon at him. Chris barely had time to cross his arms in front of him to catch the blast, and he found himself flying though the air to land near where the powered suit had previously landed. He took in deep shuddering gasps to try to regain the breath the attack had knocked out of him. "Important safety tip," Chris said to himself. "Photons have momentum, dumbass!" He worked himself to his feet. "First year physics and I forget." He looked out to see where the boomer was, and saw it using its heat ray on the ADP again. "Short attention span on that one," he remarked as he ran back out. This time, Chris used his inherent speed advantage to the utmost, not stopping his motion at all in an attempt to deny the boomer an easy target. The boomer tried to compensate for this by using it's mouth laser in a sweeping motion, and Chris yelled in pain as the beam swept over his chest. Looking down, he noticed the armor on his chest had been carbonized to some extent, and was now flaking off. The boomer took advantage of Chris' distraction, leaping towards him with it's razor claws outstretched again. Instead of merely dodging, Chris deflected the attack with his shield arm and drove his blade arm forward, driving it through the abdomen of the boomer and tearing it out sideways, leaving a gaping hole in the boomer's body and sending a seeming river of orange nutrient fluid spraying. Snarling in seeming anger, it shoved it's damaged arm into Chris' chest, but the tentacles slid across it as they attempted to fuse and found nothing to latch onto. Chris was not idle during this, and swung his sword arm back to slice the boomer again in the abdomen, this time shearing it into two. The mortal damage sent the boomer into a berserk rage, and it latched onto Chris with it's good arm. Its mouth opened and Chris found himself looking into the barrel of a laser cannon. He closed his eyes in anticipation, and felt the boomer lurch, but no attack. Opening his eyes, he caught the last embers of the red glow in the eyes of the machine, and it fell to the ground. The side of the head smoked from a laser hole through the temple. Chris looked around, and saw three battlesuits at the edge of the barricade, standing on top of an APC, one white, one green, and one pink. The white one had its arm out in firing position. "Hi girls," he called cheerily, and fainted as he felt white-hot pain explode on his chest in time with the end of his adrenaline rush. Leon and Daley watched in amazement as the green and white Knight Sabers gathered up the armored man and carry him off with a boost of jumpjets. The pink one remained for a moment to laser-scribble the Saber's calling card in the cement before following the others. "I'd say we just saw the first combat of the fifth Saber," Daley said numbly. "He was cocky," Leon scoffed. "He'd better learn quick or his life span's going to be pretty damn short." He suddenly chuckled. "It's somehow comforting, though. About time they got a man on the job." "Leon, you're a pig," Daley laughed. "Yeah, but I'm a handsome pig." *** Chris' first view upon waking up was Sylia's and Linna's face looking down on him. "We've got to stop meeting like this," he murmured, and then howled as pain burned across his chest. "Crap, that hurts!" "There's a reason we don't do solo actions, Chris," Sylia said sternly. "In case you didn't know, your body re-absorbs the metal after half an hour of unconsciousness. Also, damage to your armor seems to translate into damage to YOU. If we hadn't been nearby, you'd be in a Genom research lab right now, and they'd probably be dissecting you." Chris felt his temper rise. He was in pain, he had just fought a killing machine, and a lot of people had just died, and somehow he felt guilty for it. "Gee, nice to know I've been drafted," he snapped. "Next time I'll be sure to just let people die and wait for backup!" Sylia recoiled as if slapped and Linna's face flushed. "If we hadn't arrived with our suits when we did, you would be dead right now!" she yelled, and jabbed her finger at Chris' bandaged chest. Pain blossomed from the contact, and he yelled from the shock as Linna continued. "You've got third-degree burns from a sweeping blow, you ungrateful idiot. If a sustained blast had hit you in the face, the coffin would have been a hell of a lot shorter!" "If that would have saved lives, then so be it," Chris said softly, and levered himself up to a sitting position, hissing as his chest protested. Linna and Sylia were looking at him in disbelief. "Look, it's the way I was trained to feel and to think. My brother was a doctor, my father was a medical researcher, and I'm an engineer. I've had 'for the good of mankind' drilled into me since I was a kid. My job, back in my world, was to PROTECT my sisters. That kind of attitude is something that's a part and parcel of me." He looked with calm eyes at Sylia. "That's what you get with me, Sylia. If it's a choice between a life and the mission, then the mission be damned. Even your personal vendetta against Genom takes second place." Linna put her hand on Chris' shoulder, and looked earnestly into his eyes. "Do you think we don't understand that? The Knight Sabers have fought boomers countless times for no monetary gain at all. If lives were so cheap to us, we would let the ADP fight and die with every military boomer that shows up." "If lives were so cheap to me, Chris," Sylia said, a hurt tone in her voice, "I would simply carry a nuclear bomb into Genom's buildings and accept the millions of casualties something like that would cause." She turned and began to walk out of the room, stopping before the door. "I'm not asking you to let people die. I'm asking you to think before you act. Suicide serves no one, Chris." With that, she exited the room. Linna began to follow her, pausing to give Chris a dark look. Shame washed over Chris as he realized what he had accused Sylia and the rest of the Sabers of. They weren't cold-blooded mercenaries, and he knew it. "Damn," he cursed, lying back on the table. "Damn my bloody temper, and my freaking smart mouth." He covered his face with his hands, and then began to massage his temples. "Damn." *** "How is he?" Nene asked. Sylia didn't say anything as she poured herself some wine and sat at the window. Linna came in a moment later and flopped on the couch. "What happened?" "He's fine," Sylia said shortly. "He just has a bad burn on his chest." She paused, and took a sip of her drink. "Right now, Chris has some things about himself and us to consider." The muffled sound of a motorcycle's roar came through the glass, and Sylia looked down into the street to see Priss pulling up to the Lady's 633. She parked her bike and made her way towards the building. A few moments later there was a sound from the buzzer, and Priss entered the apartment and removed her helmet. "I saw the news," she said with a smirk. "He didn't do half bad for his first time." She suddenly laughed. "Mr. 'Saber Silver' is a damn sight better than the ADP." Chris, who had made his way up from the lab, groaned from the doorway behind her. "Saber Silver? Oh please, you've GOT to be kidding me. Who came up with that?" "The Press, who else?" Priss grinned. He walked in, and stood before Sylia. "I apologize for what I implied, I should have known better. I'm yours, if you'll have me." As she smiled enigmatically, he blushed and amended the statement. "For the TEAM. Sheesh." "Did I miss something?" Priss whispered to Nene. Nene shrugged. "I'm as lost as you." "Well then," Sylia began, her voice once again becoming that of a commander. "It appears we've gained a second Close Combat Specialist." She held out her hand to Chris. "Welcome to the Knight Sabers." Chris couldn't help the grin on his face as he shook her hand.