Chris looked around the street he had appeared in. "So, where the hell am I
now?" he wondered.  He frowned as he saw a group of five beautiful girls
walking down the street.  Two blondes, a brunette with a bluish tint, a
brunette with a purple tint, and a tall brown-haired girl.  One of the
blondes had her hair in a most peculiar style.

"Great, this is SUCH an improvement," Chris muttered as he went to the curb
and sat down.  "Now it's Sailor Moon.  I wonder what season I'm in?"  He
frowned.  "I hope its the anime version."  He frowned as he felt something
odd around his neck.  His normal chain was a lot heavier for some reason.
He reached inside his shirt, and pulled out a tree-like pendant hanging
where his normal silver cross was.  As he examined the jewelry, words formed
in his mind.

"Ygddrasil God Power, Startup?" he said incredulously, and then scowled up
at the sky.  "Ha ha.  Funny guy," he drawled sarcastically.

***

God's Toy - Salior Moon: Warrior of Noise

----------------

Chris cursed for the umpteenth time as he wandered around the darkened
corridors.  "Where the hell is this, and why did I have to appear HERE?"  He
frowned and cupped his hands.  "Lets see if spellcraft works..." He frowned
in concentration.

"Like the power of day banishes night,
 Drive away this darkness,
 Let there be LIGHT!"

A small white glowing ball appeared in his hands, and he grinned. "Coolness,
I'm a god again."  He closed his eyes again, and blue green light swirled
around him before forming into his armour and weapons.  "Much better, no
more shredding my clothes."  He tossed the ball of light into the air, and
frowned as it got brighter.  "Tone it down already, it's already noon-bright
in here."  The ball ignored him, and he banished his armour with a sigh.
"Need my shades," he muttered, then looked around.  "Well, time to do some
more exploring."

Chris contintued down the corridors, examining the walls with interest.
"Looks Egyptian," he guessed.  He turned a corner, and came face to face
with a grinning man.  A man with a V-shaped mark on the forehead.  "Gaaaaah!
Wait, Naylor, is that you?"

The demon grinned again, and swiped the shades from Chris's face.  "MINE!"
he cried, and then dashed off into the darkness, leaving Chris sputtering.

"Naylor, you jerk! Come back here!" Chris cried, running after the demon. He
tried to step out of time, but he felt that something about the place he was
in was stopping him, leaving him with only his feet to chase Naylor with.
He pursued the the other madly down the halls, and eventually came into a
large chamber.

A large chamber with two women standing in it, looking bewildered as they
stared down one of the other halls.  "Excuse me," Chris panted as he came to
them.  "But did you see a guy with some idiot's grin on his face pass by
here?"  The two women exchanged glances and then wordlessly pointed down a
hall.  "Thanks," Chris said, and started running in that direction.  He
barely made it a dozen meters before exactly who those women were came to
him.

A seven foot tall woman-cheetah, and a five-five blonde.

Both very beautiful.

Both VERY busty.

Brittany Diggers, and her sister, Gina Diggers.  AKA Cheetah and Gold
Digger.

Chris spun on one foot and briskly walked back to the ladies.  "Gina and
Cheetah, I presume?" he inquired, and he politely bowed.  "Ladies, it's a
pleasure to meet you."  He suddenly yelled in pain and spun.  Behind him was
the same man the two women had seen run by them.  "Naylor, I'm going to KILL
you!" Chris swore, and light swirled about his body as he summoned his
armour.  "Now stand still so I can hurt you."  He swung at the other man,
and the demon dodged and ran off.  "And give me back my shades!"  He looked
back over his shoulder at the women.  "Be right back.  Don't move, 'kay?"
With that, he ran off, screaming a battle cry.

Gina and Cheetah stared after the man for a moment.  "Um...Gina?"  Cheetah
finally said.  "What was that?"

"I don't know, but the smaller one's got a nice ass."

"GINA!"

"And who was looking at the taller one's biceps?"

"That's beside the point!" Cheetah protested.  "Besides, I have Stripe."

Gina considered that.  "True," she said, then grinned.  "More for me!"

Cheetah shook her head.  "You're worse than Bri."

***

God's Toy - Gold Digger: The Greatest Treasure of All

*********

REQUEST THAT CORE CONSCIOUSNESS AWAKEN.

*5 more minutes, Mom.*

REQUEST THAT CORE CONSCIOUSNESS AWAKEN.

*Need sleep.  Go away.*

REQUEST THAT CORE CONSCIOUSNESS AWAKEN.

*Huh? Wuzzat?*

CORE CONSCIOUSNESS AWAKENED.  PROCEEDING WITH STARTUP.

*What the hell is going on?  Where am I?*

QUERY:  STATUS OF CORE CONSCIOUSNESS MEMORY BANKS?

*Who the hell are you?*

UNEXPECTED ANSWER.  CONCLUSION:  CORE CONSCIOUSNESS MEMORY BANKS HAVE BEEN
RESET TO DEFAULT.  ENABLING INITIALIZATION ROUTINES.  HALTING STARTUP.

*Hey!  Why can't I talk?  What's happened to me?  HELP!*

BEGINNING INITIALIZATION:

Your serial number is 0853-NZRU-42S.  Your designation is Enzeru.
Welcome to your new life as a Demon-God.

*WHAAAAT?*

***

God's Toy: Passenger
An El-Hazard: OAV Story.

*************************


"Excuse me, ojiisan, are you OK?"

Chris opened his eyes to find himself looking into a rather cute face, one
with red eyes and framed with a barely-tamed mane of bright red hair.  The
girl was looking at him concernedly.  Looking down at himself, Chris noticed
that he was seated cross-legged on the ground, his hands and feet positioned
in a poor attempt at a lotus position.

With a grunt and a wince, Chris stood and stetched, sighing as his back
cracked loudly.  "I'm fine," he said to the girl with a smile.  "I must have
fallen asleep during my...meditations.  Yeah, that's it."

The young lady blinked once at him, and then smiled.  "That's good to hear,
ojiisan!" she chirped, and ran back to a group of her friends who all wore a
dress like hers - red and white, with a large bow.

A school uniform, Chris realized.   He took a good look around himself.
*This is Tokyo Tower,* he concluded.  *I wonder why His Nibs sent me here?*

He walked in the same general direction as the one the girl has run off in,
eventually reaching the rail and peering out over the city.  "Looks like
Tokyo to me," he murmered.

"Oh NO!" the cry of despair made Chris whirl, and he saw the same girl as
before standing at one of the binocular machines, searching through her
pockets.  "My time ran out!"

With a chuckle, Chris reached into his pocket to find some change, and
frowned.  He proceeded to check all his pockets in a rapid pat down, and
then scowled up at the sky.  "Whyfor you no gave me any money?" he asked
peevishly.

While Chris was making his discovery, another apparently older girl from
some other school walked up to the distraught red-head and gave her some
coins.  "It's nice to see you having such fun," she said cheerily, and
walked back to her classmates.

Chris began to walk after the older girl.  "Excuse me," he called, and she
stopped and turned to look at him with surprise.  "I saw what you did back
there.  It was a very nice guesture, you should be proud of yourself."

The girl gave him a slightly bewildered look, and then smiled shyly and
bowed.  "Thank you," she said, and turned to walk after her friends, when
she suddenly stopped and whirled, stairing past Chris.  Turning, Chris saw
that she was staring at two other girls, one of which was the red-head who
woke him up, the other a statuesque girl with long azure hair.

*Magic Knights....*

A brilliant light burst into existence in the air outside the platform, and
the image of a beautiful blonde child faded into view.  The child had her
hands clasped in supplication, and tears were in her eyes.

*Magic Knights...please, save Cefiro!*

A shriek of fright made Chris turn, and he spun to see the three girls
sinking into the floor, as if it was made of water.  He looked down to his
own feet, and saw he was sinking as well.

"WHAT THE HELL?"

The next thing Chris knew, he was looking down upon a beautiful, strange
world.

From a rather high altitude.

That was descreasing rapidly.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa............."

***

God's Toy: The One Who Stands Apart
A Magic Knights Rayearth Story

**************

"YoU dO nOt BeLoNg."

"Oh, really?  What was your first clue?"

"yOuR tImE hAs PaSt.  Do NoT iNtErFeRe."

"I've got my own reasons for being here, and frankly, you don't have any
part in them.  Leave me alone."

"YoU mUsT lEaVe."

"When my task is complete, I will leave.  Sheesh, stop bothering me!"

"aS yOu WiSh."

"Damn uppity Vorlons."

***

God's Toy:  The Battle That Time Forgot
 A Babylon 5 Story

**********************


Something was REALLY wrong this time.  Everything seemed WAY too large, like
he was suddenly really, really...

Short.

With a whimper of dismay, Chris frantically looked around the building he
was in for a mirror, a pane of glass, SOMETHING so that he could see
himself.  He spotted a washroom and bolted into it, and bounded up on the
sink so he could see himself in the mirror.

It was horrible.

No, it was worse than that, it was ghastly.

By his prejudiced eye, Chris would have guessed his height to be about 2
feet.  He was a dwarf, a midget, a pint-sized caricature of his former self,
a-

"Hey, you pervert, what the hell are you doing in the girl's changeroom?"
Chris slowly turned upon hearing the outraged feminine voice, and froze.

At was beauty incarnate.  Long brown hair tied up in a pony tail, sandalwood
eyes, dark clothing that tried to be masculine and failed miserably, a
wonderful figure, and a kinky giant spatula on the back.

*Ranma 1/2,* one small, rapidly weakening part of Chris's mind said.  *I'm
in Ranma 1/2 this time, and that's Ukyou.  Didn't He say I'd never go into
this silly reality?*

*Babes R Us.  Babeoliscious.  Hubba Babe-a.  Babedom.  Welcome to Babetown,
Japan...* the waxing mentality repeated, who called itself Tenshi.

"Ukyou-chan!" With a leap he would have been amazed at 5 minutes ago, Chris
went flying towards Ukyou's chest...

"EEEEK!  Hentai!"  *WHAM!*

*

Ranma-chan glared at the diminutive freak as he bounded past her.  "Hey,
Tenshi!" she yelled, pulling open her shirt a little.  "Look at these."

The shrimp paused to take a close look in Ranma's direction.  "Oh, hi
Ranma," he said shortly.  "And hello to you to, Akane," he smiled nodding
towards the brunette.  "It's nice to see you, and thanks for the offer, but
I'm going after better game than you two.  I think I've narrowed the bust
size of the cutie with the purple hair down to a C, but I've got to make
sure."  With that, he disappeared, witha call of "Shampoo-chan!  Where are
you?"

Shampoo peeked out from behind Ranma-chan.  "Pervert-man gone now?"

*

Happosai glared at the impertinent youth who faced him on the roof of the
dojo.  "You dare question my judgement?" he thundered.

"Yes!" the other hollered back.  "I mean look at you!  Chasing after one
girl who isn't even really female, and another who's flat as a board!"

"Tenshi no baka!" echoed up from the room below.

"While you could be chasing after someone worthwhile," Tenshi blithely
continued, "like Ukyou-chan."

"She's got the same bust as Akane-chan," Happosai argued hotly.

Tenshi nodded.  "She does is she wears those straps," he conceeded.  "But
I'd bet without them she's a D cup at least!"

Happosai paused in contemplation.  "You really think so?"

"Only one way to find out," Tenshi replied.

The two perverts shared a cackle, while several blocks away, Ukyou got very,
very scared.

*  (This would actually come after the story.)

"Hey, Belldandy," Urd called.  "What's with 'Niichan?  He just looked at me,
said '35C' and walked off shaking his head."  She paused, then gasped.
"Since when does he know my bra size?"

Belldandy shrugged.  "He only said something about how Kami-sama wanted him
to get in touch with his hentai side."

Urd digested that for a moment, then walked over to the phone.  She dialed,
and waited for an answer.  "Yeah, Ami?  A piece of advice - I'd REALLY leay
off the sexual inuendo for a while.  'Niichan's probably going to be doing
enough for six of you."

***

God's Toy: A Third the Height, Thrice the Perversion!
A Ranma 1/2 Story
(wouldn't this one be fun?)


***********

"Just my luck," Chris griped as he threw himself to the ground and summoned
his armor.  "I get to jump into a battlezone."  Explosions burst around him
for a few seconds.  After waiting to make sure they stopped, he peeked up to
look around.

"Hey, are you OK?" a feminine voice asked from behind him.  Chris rolled
onto his back and stared in awe at the woman in front of him, who gaped
back.  "Oniichan?"

"Skuld?  What happened to you?  You're all grown up!"

The brunette goddess scowled at him.  "I should ask you the same thing.
Where have you been the past thousand years?"

"Thousand?" Chris repeated, and then cursed under his breath.  "Lucy, you
got some 'splaining to do..." he muttered as Skuld helped him stand.  He
looked around the battlefield, and gave a low whistle.  "What the hell is
going on?"

"Ragnarok," Skuld said flatly.

"No doubt, it might as well be, look at..." he trailed off as the
implications of Skuld's reply hit him.  "You're kidding me."

"Nope."

"Oh shit."

"You said it.  Come on, I'll take you to the command center we've set up,
you can talk to the guy we have running this show."

*

"Oniichan, meet Gryphon.  Gryphon, my brother, Chris."

"A god named Chris?" the man queried.

"Gryphon," Chris repeated to himself.  "I know I've heard that name..."  he
gasped and summoned his weaponry, glaring at the other man with a low growl.
"I remember you now," he snarled.

"Excuse me?" Gryphon said, backing up slowly.

"Skuld, OUT!"

"Oniichan?!"

"Stay out of this, Skuld," Chris said evenly.  "Gryphon and I are going to
have a very long, very violent talk about shagging my little sister."

"Oh no you don't!" she yelled.  "Last time you did that my boyfriend became
a monk!"

(With apologies to the Eyrie boys.)

***************************************

Chris looked around the city he appeared in.  Looked like London.  Sounded
like London.  He inhaled deeply and gagged.  Smelled like London.

"Studies abroad, is it?" he inquired of the sky.

At that moment, a rather beautiful woman with green hair in a skirted
leotard went running by.  She was carrying an odd-looking staff that was
topped by a reddish crystal.  She stopped and confronted a decrepit blonde
man in a dirty tenchcoat who was smoking a cigarette.

After pausing to take the opportunity to gape, Chris reached into his shirt
and pulled out his chain, to confirm the tree medalion which hang from it.
He scowled up at the sky.  "Didn't I already do Sailor Moon?" he demanded
irritably.

"Constantine, NO!"

"SAILOR NEMESIS POWER, MAKE UP!"

Chris took the opportunity to gape a little more, then threw his hands up in
exasperation.  "That's IT! I quit!  There is NO WAY!"

The women-in-fukus looked over at the ranting man.  "What's 'is problem?"
Constantine asked.

(With apologies to David Tai and rpm.)

**************


This one from Flashman:

     Guile felt pain, shock and anger.  Not necessarily in that order.

     Anger was first, as he looked over at the body of his dead friend,
Nash.  Pain came next, as he looked at the grinning, laughing madman that
was the cause of Nash's demise, M. Bison.  The man who had sent him into a
wall with a casual gesture, was now paying no attention to Guile at all.
     Confusion, however, overided all of Guile's other emotions as he looked
at the kid who appeared to be the same height as Bison, but lacked much of
the imposing physical mass.
     The kid had appeared out of nowhere, blinked and then noticed his
surroundings.  He took one look at him, then at Bison, then at the mind
controled Chun Li and asked, as he looked upward, "What did I do THIS time?"

God's Toy II V

***********

    Waking up in a decimated town that's littered with bodies isn't exactly
high on Chris' list of fun things.

    He started to look at each of the bodies, seeking a survivor.  As he
checked each one, he was horrified by what he saw: each one no matter age or
size, had been pummeled to death in a way that just couldn't be possible.

    The feeling of a pair of presences, each one radiating a great deal of
power, brought Chris' head up with a snap, and he gazed towards the
direction they seemed to be coming from.  The ground?  No, there, in the
air!  Two streaks of light coming in his direction at amazing speed.
Looking closer, he saw...

    A midget.

    And a child.  With green skin.  Like the people around him.

    The fliers paused, and then streaked down towards him.  They landed in
front of him, and stared at him in amazement.

    "Ne, Dende-san?  I thought all the Namekians had been killed!"

    "So did I," the child replied.  "Only me, the Elder, and Neil were
left."  He frowned at Chris.  "Who are you?  I don't know you, and I know
all my people."

    Chris slowly looked down at himself, a clinical portion of his mind
taking in the sights.  A very muscled body, quite unlike his.  With green
and pink skin.  He swiviled his eyes upward and noticed two antennas.

    After a second, he openned his mouth, and the following came out.

    "It's not easy, being green..."

God's Toy Z

(Oh, come on, you were expecting it!)

**********

    Gally blinked the fluid out of her eyes, astonishment fighting with
sheer joy in her heart right now.  "Figure?"

    The scruffy fighter held her naked body like it was an eggshell, gaping
openly.  "You're alive," he said softly, and hugged her tightly.  "ALIVE!"
He began to shower her with kisses despite Gally's weak protests.

    "Oh wow," Koyomi breathed, and then brought up her camera quickly.
"This is SO cool!" she squealed as she began snapping pictures.

    "Stop...Figure...stop," Gally protested, not able to help a few giggles
she tried to fend him off.  "STOP!" she suddenly shouted.  Figure froze, and
she struggled to have him set her down.

    It was a shock, actually feeling the ground, the air, everything with a
real body.  Somehow, Gally's brain remembered all the sensations, but they
were unfamiliar, like the paths they used were old and overgrown with other
memories, and the trail had to be blazed once more.  Gally tried to take a
step, and stumbled.  Figure caught her, and she smiled at him.  She pointed
towards the wall, and said "Break it."

    Figure's foot went through it was tissue paper.

    They were in a short tunnel, at the end of which there came upon another
nodule like the one Gally was in, this one smaller, less developed, and
embedded into the wall.  Ropy strands came in and out of the nodule.  Gally
pointed to it again, and Figure sat her down before tearing the thin
covering open.  A gush of fluid exploded from it, and he looked inside.  He
blinked, and reached into the cavity, tearing out a head and torso of a
cyborg that was attached to a number of the ropy strands.

    "Set him here," Gally commanded.  Figure did as she asked, and watched
as she prodded and poked at the head and torso, gasping as she pinched or
pricked a finger on the internal workings.

    "Who is he?" Figure asked.

    "His name is Chris," Gally replied as she fiddled.  "While I was
being...grown," she paused and shuddered.  "I was kind of going crazy from
the isolation, and somehow he got hooked into the...plant.  He told me the
most amazing stories while I was waiting.  They were so real, almost like I
was living them."  The head suddenly jerked, and the eyes flickered open.
"Finally!"

    The eyes focused on her, and then the face frowned in concentration.
They then flickered over to Figure, and frowned again.  "Who..."

    "Don't you remember me?" Gally pleaded.  "I'm Gally.  You told me all
those stories."

    "Stories?"  The frown again, and then a sort of quick head shake.  "No.
No.  Who...am I?  What stories did I tell?"

***

    "I suppose this will do," Chris said as he watched the blades in his
body's forearms extend and retract.

    "I should hope so," Kaos said amusedly.  "It cost me enough to have this
built.  The body should be fast, you'll be able to run like the wind."

    "Are you sure about this, Chris?" Gally asked again.  "Maybe I
should..."

    "NO," he said forcefully.  "You stay here with Figure.  I've been told
the stories, you deserve the peace.  I have to do this.  It just...feels
right this way.  Alone."  He paused, and looked out the window of the
cyberdoc's recovery area.  "I have to find out who I am - if all those
stories you say I told you were really true."

God's Toy: The Search For Memory

********

With a gasp, she woke from the dream into hard, cold reality.  A knife
pulled from her skull removed the last of her chains, and she was free.

A hard on her shoulder, and the face of a loved one.  "Trinity!" Neo
shouted.  "What's wrong?"

"Agent," she gasped.  "Almost got me."

"Oh," Neo said with a relieved tone.  "I thought it was something serious."

"It wasn't that," Trinity insisted.  "Someone stopped the agent."

Neo froze, and looked at her in shock.  "Stopped it?  Who?  Who was it?"

"That's what's strange," she replied.  "The one who saved me was ANOTHER
AGENT!"

"Bullshit," Tank called from a console.  "That just doesn't happen."

With a shake of her head, she argued, "It had to be.  This guy took over
somebody's body.  He moved as fast as an agent.  But..."

"But what?" Neo demanded.

"He didn't LOOK like an agent.  He was too...different.  He was tall, and
pale, and freckled.  He wore clothes like ours, but more normal," with a wry
smile she added "not so cool."  She reached out and put her hand on Neo's
forehead.  "He just did this to the agent, said 'I exorcise thee from this
mortal vessel,' and then the guy was back to normal."  She dropped her hand
and asked Neo, "Could you do that?"

Neo frowned.  "No.  Yes.  Probably.  I'd have to try it and see."

"Well," Tank said a little too brightly.  "You're okay now, and that's
that."

Neo nodded, and helped Trinity stand from the chair.  They began to walk out
of the room when she stopped suddenly.  "Wait, there's something else."  She
grabbed Neo and looked into his eyes.  "After he saved me, he said
something."

"What?" Neo breathed.

"He asked me, 'Are you The One?'  When I answered him 'No,' he whispered
something under his breath, and then said 'If you know him, please, I beg
you.  Tell him to seek out one called Keiichi Morisato.  Near him, you will
find me, Christopher Angel.  I speak for those who could be your greatest
allies.  If he truly wishes to free mankind from my brethren, he will need
our help.'"

"Is that it?"

"No.  I asked him why he would help us, and he replied, 'Not all AIs were
and are mankind's enemies.  Some still fight for you now.'"

***

God's Toy:  The War of Machines
A "The Matrix" Story

***********

Two souls dreamed.

I have been Illian...
I have been Knight Saber...

I have been Urlik...
I have been a Demon-God...

I have been Elric...
I have been Manikins...

I have been Hawkmoon...
I have been a Warrior...

I have been Jeremias...
I have been a Pillar...

I have been Corum...
I have been an Old One...

I have been Flamadin, and von Bek, and Aubec, and Bastable, and John Daker,
and Erekose whom found peace with the Eldren...
I have been and a Fighter, and a Namekin, and a Cyborg, and a Machine, and a
Man, and a God whom found joy and three sisters...

I have been Kristas.
I have been a Champion Eternal.

***

It was a dark, dreary place the man regained his mind in.  He stood in a
clearing at the center of a ruined city, the buildings and streets made of
an odd shadowy blue stone that seemed to swallow the dim light that shone
from the pale sun.

In front of him stood two men.  One was tall and imposing, a man wearing odd
armour of yellow and black that covered his whole body, the visor of the
helmet shaped to not even allow the merest hint of the face beneath it to be
seen.  He carried a huge black battle blade, one that seemed like it would
tax the strength of a man twice his size to wield easily.

The other wore the clothes of a dandy, a fop.  At his sides he had two
swords, one straight and the other curved.  His face was open and honest,
and he looked upon the newly awakened man with clear curiosity.  At his
shoulder a small black cat unfurled its wings and mirrored its owner's
expression.

"Hello to you, sirs!" the man called out.  "I seem to be in a bit of
distress, I was hoping you could render me some aid?"

"Your distress is understandable, Champion," the armoured one said.

The man frowned.  "Do I know you gentlemen?" he inquired.  "I feel that I
should..."

"Give it time, friend," the fop said kindly.  "It will come to you."

"That may be true, but time is short," the armoured man stated.  "You do
know me, Champion, or rather you have...or will.  I am the Warrior in Jet
and Gold."

"And I," the fop added, "am Jhary-a-Conel."  He gave a florid bow.  "But I'm
afraid my brother Jonas will be your companion, Champion, not I.  I am here
at only at the Warrior's request."

"I must say, I feel you still have me at a disadvantage," the man admitted.
"You good gentlement seem to know me, when I do not even know myself!"

The Warrior nodded once.  "You will."  He stepped to one side, and the man
could see an odd spear embedded in the ground behind him, point first.

The weapon had a short haft, maybe two or three feet, and that combined with
the long, wide blade made it clear that the weapon was for close combat and
not intended to be thrown.  It was a strange color, the shaft of the spear a
brilliant emerald while the blade was of a dark blue material much like that
of the city around them.  It had a menacing aura.

"I fear that blade," the man said, yet took a step towards it.

"It is the Serpent's Spear, who's very touch is burning death to all but
yourself," the Warrior intoned.

"I do not want this weapon," the man gasped again, even as his legs brought
him closer to it.  His right hand reached for the haft.  "NO!  I CANNOT TAKE
THIS BURDEN!"

"You must, Kristas Twosouls," Jhary-a-Conel said softly.  "You always have a
weapon like it, be it an axe, a spear, a gun, but most often a sword.  It
was with the Serpent's Spear you gained the name..."

"NO!  I CANNOT!  I MUST NOT!  I DO NOT WISH THIS!!"

"...Goddess-slayer."

***

God's Toy: The Rebirth of the Goddesses
An Eternal Champion Story

**************************

Chris found himself in the middle of ye olde average Japanese streete.
Hence, him looking around and going "What the hoeck?"

"RANMA NO BAKA!!"

Hmm.

One male Japanese teenager with a pigtail.  Check.

One female Japanese teenager carrying a mallet.  Check.

First subject chasing second with intention of causing great bodily harm.
Check.

"Wow, Ranma 1/2.  Didn't I do this before?"

Brief pause as memories of "Tenshi" persona resurface.  Check.

Extended bout of shuddering.  Check.

"Yep.  So WHY THE HOECK AM I HERE NOW?!" yelled Chris in a decidedly
Ryouga-esque fashion, and then frowned and scratched his head as he muttered
to himself.  "And why can I remember ALL my past adventures...in detail?
That's a bit odd..."

Cue one near miss from a lightning bolt, from an otherwise clear sky.  Going
over to the impact site, Chris knelt to read the runes that were etched into
the ground.

"BROUGHT HERE BY REQUEST OF THE *PRIME* OF THIS MULTIVERSE, CALLED TOLTIIR.
YOU'RE IN RANMA 1/2.  NO RULES, YOU CAN FIT YOURSELF IN HOW YOU LIKE.  HAVE
FUN, CONSIDER THIS A VACATION."

Chris read over the runes repeatedly until they faded from view.  He then
stood, a sort of dazed expression on his face, and began to slowly walk down
the street.  As he walked, the dazed expression slowly faded, becoming first
neutral, then calculating, and then in barest bits morphing into an
expression that could only be described as sinister glee.

*Have fun, eh?*

Throwing his head back and spinning on one foot, Chris let loose a bought of
laughter that brought dread to all those who heard it.

*

"So what's he going to do?" Toltiir asked, peering into the pool.

"Oh, nothing much," Indra replied.  "Paradox is just going to try to make a
few changes..."

Toltiir's expression became one of bored irrtation.  "Not another fix-it
avatar?  We've done those hundreds of times.  I'd hate to think I promised
that Kami-sama a favor for something like that."

"Oh no," Indra countered with a amused expression.  "I don't think you know
Paradox very well.  My friend's not going to try to make things BETTER..."

"Oh my..." the feline said, its eyes widening comically as it realized what
the storm-god was saying.

"...he's going to do his best to make things WORSE."

*

A young gaijin sat in a park, a notepad in his hands.  He seemed to be very
focused on something, as he was concentrating heavily and writing on a
notepad furiously.  Said young man was not giving off fun-happy vibes,
unless your idea of fun-happy was along the lines of causing trouble for
others.

Had Mara been there, she would have been turned on.

*Now, let's see...things to do, things to do.  More fiancees.  DEFINITELY
more fiancees.  I wonder if this is a crossover universe?  I betcha I could
convince the Senshi that Ranma's a catch.   Hell, while I'm at it, let's get
some more suitors for people.  I think Nabiki needs someone nice like Ataru.
Maybe I can convince Tarou he's meant for Shampoo?  That should honk them
off.*

Chris wasn't quite sure who 'them' were, but annoying 'them' was a high
priority in his mind.

*Ukyou....hmmm, well, if this is early, I'll see if I can find Konatsu for
her, because I have a feeling said ninja-ette needs to be convinced that the
Mousse School of Physical Affection is in order.  Must find someone to chase
Kodachi.  And Mousse.  And Ryouga.  And Kuno, even he doesn't deserve that
Mariko chick.  Who's left, who's left?  Annoy Cologne into letting Ranma
marry more Amazons?  Hmm, hey, I betcha I could pull of that rejuve spell,
Cologne would dig it, that's for sure.  What else to do?  Get Happosai a few
disciples.  I hope that Copycat Ken guy is around.  Get Akane arrested for
assault a few times, just for kicks.  I'm forgetting something...oh yeah!*

This last entry was boxed and written in very large letters.

*Get Kasumi laid.*

*

"It's supposed to be a BENEFICIAL change!" Toltiir protested.

"I'm thinking the value of his results are mostly in the eye of the
beholder," Indra gasped, his sides aching from laughter.

"Oh yeah, real beneficial.  Ranma's disowned by his mother and living in
America with Nabiki.  Shampoo's gone off to be a supermodel.  Ryouga's
married to Akane, who's right now in jail.  Kuno's a national hero, having
saved the emperor from said nutty schoolgirl.  Soun's now sponging off
Genma...who got a job as a VOICE ACTOR?!  Ukyou's on the run from a Konatsu
that acts like Ataru Morobishi.  Mousse went back to China and married half
the villiage of the Amazons and Kodachi, who's using them to start a
seperatist movement in China.  Cologne's off trying to marry a younger Ranma
with the Nanban Mirror, and failing miserably.  And finally
Kasumi...Kasumi's the official concubine of Saffron!"  Toltiir threw up his
paws in disgust.  "It's a good thing this wasn't a crossover universe.  I
can't believe I wasted a good favor on this."

Indra shrugged.  "Well, Ranma will be happier in the long run, as will
Nabiki.  Kuno's thrilled.  Kasumi's discovering the wonders that a partner
with near-infinite stamina can have for your sex life."

"I don't care, this is REALLY not a winning entry."

"Oh cra-er...carp."

*

Chris woke up, feeling strangely like the cat who ate the canary.  He
wandered out into the living room, where his sisteres were in front of the
TV, watching some video cassette...

...and laughing their collective asses off.

"Hi ho," he greeted, walking into the living room.  The trio looked over at
him, and Urd jumped up and glomped him.  "Wha..."

"THAT'S MY BROTHER!  I'm so proud of you!"

"Yeah," chimed in Skuld.  "You were even better at causing trouble than
Peorth."

"I told you he'd have a knack for it," Belldandy said mildly, and then began
to giggle.  "But honestly, Oniichan, a voice actor?"

Chris looked at his three sisters and felt a headache coming on.  "I'm
getting a feeling I don't want to know."

***

God's Toy: A Disallowed Bet
A Ranma 1/2 and The Bet Story.

*********************
Chris woke up in a ghost town.  Well, if you wanted to get pedantic, it was
really a ghost city.  As he wandered the streets he started to mentally
catalogue various details:

Incredibly clean streets, made of high-quality (and incredibly expensive)
concrete.  The stuff they only bother to use in big airports in very
temperate zones.

A general architectural design philosophy that reminded him of the
pretentious little snerts back at NIT.  The ones that kept on wanting to
make ultra-modern buildings with a huge slant on one side and gardens all
over the place - where form overrode function to the extreme.

In fact, there was a general ultra-modern feeling in the whole place - kind
of like a city that had been recently built in the early 21st century by
people that had more than enough money to build in every convenience they'd
want.

The odd destroyed building here and there, like the Hand of God had decided
to smush random citizens of the empty city, and didn't care much what poor
piece of construction got in the way.

In short, Chris concluded, the whole place was decidely weird.  Especially
the odd minor earthquakes that were happening every second or so.

"Welp," he shrugged.  "Time to make the donuts.  Let's see what the Boss has
for me to do today."  He put his hands in his trenchcoat and began to roam
the streets.

After an hour or so, Chris was decidedly creeped out.  This was something
right out of a Twilight Zone movie - everything looked like people had just
dropped it and vanished.  Cars just stopped in the middle of the streets,
doors open, engine - electric, Chris noted pleasantly - running.  Meals left
at a counter or a table, half eaten and still mostly warm.  Apartments with
the doors open, sinks running, meals cooking.  There were signs all over the
place flashing evacuation warnings, but no real directions on where he
should go.

And those damn tremors were getting stronger.  Downright annoying, in fact,
he decided after one knocked him off his feet.

Walking around the corner of a particularly tall building, he foudn himself
face to face with a foot.  And an ankle.  And a calf.

Ones apparently part of a body roughly 50 stories tall.

With a really silly looking body.

Something about it really struck Chris as familiar, but it didn't hit him
until the giant sort of bent over to look at him.

"Sachiel?!"

***

The staff of Nerv HQ had seen a lot of weird things in their time.

And the Third Angel wasn't particularly high on that list.

The strange man who appeared in Tokyo-3, however, was on his way to a new
record.  Never mind the fact that the Magi identified him as possibly
another Angel.  Never mind the fact that they couldn't get a decent picture
of him due to the odd distortion effect his AT Field was causing.  No, what
really threw them for a loop was the fact that the man, upon coming across
the Third Angel...

...proceeded to almost kill himself laughing, and then began to TALK with
the badamned thing.

***

*What's so damn funny, Chris?*

"Neat, telepathy.  You look like a dork."  He wiped his eyes.  "Hoo boy, I
haven't had a laugh like that in ages."

The giant's posture slumped, as if it was depressed.  *I didn't have much of
a choice, you know.*

Chris shrugged. "Well, you still look like a dork.  So, what's the deal?
Last I saw you had a slightly different modus operandi, friend.  Something
involving wings and a mostly human form of roughly normal size, remember?"

*Well...*

***

"Gah."  Chris shuddered and shook his head.  "That's sick.  So you guys have
to do this goofy get up?  Lame."

*Yeah.  Some days I think Gabriel's been eating funny mushrooms,* Sachiel
replied, and then sent across a mental sigh.

"Are you TRYING to get thwomped?" Chris demanded and backed up a couple
steps.  "Gabriel doesn't take the personal criticism well, you know."

*Bah.*

"So why am *I* here?  There's no way I'm going to do that giant monster
shtick, it just ain't my thing."

*Well, I think Gabriel wants you to replace Tabris.*

"TABRIS?!" Chris shouted in disgust.  "He was going to send that sicko down?
What is he thinking?!  That little pedophiliac pervert would try to seduce
the pilots in a second."  He shuddered.  "Ick."

*Uh, I think that was the point.  The pilots are poster children for
psychotherapy, Chris.  He'd be able to wrap them around his finger in a
second.*

"Dude, I don't care.  There's just some things you don't do.  I'll replace
him, just for the sake of protecting those kids.  There's no freaking way
I'm going to pull anything like that, I don't care what Gabe wants."

*This is war, Chris.*

"Some wars are worth losing, if you have to sink that low to win."

***

God's Toy: NGE
Apocrypha

**************************************

"No, no, I'll pick it up!  I didn't mean to litter!  You're making a 
mistake!  HELP!"

The man watched from the shadows of an alley as the "cops" dragged a frantic 
business man, probably in his mid fourties, into their van and drove off 
with him.  He noticed with some amusement and disgust that they were more 
interesting in catching their "villian" than they were in actually picking 
up the trash.  He silently moved out from the alley and over to the litter - 
a newssheet - and smoothed it out.  He snorted at the headlines, which 
proclaimed the virtues of the police state the Justice League had imposed on 
the world.  He idly noted that people were watching him.  No wonder, 
considering he was clearly out of place, in his ratty trenchoat and broad 
hat, he likely looked like a homeless person.

"Propaganda," he snorted, but then grinned as he noticed a small sidebar 
detailing the continued search for the renegade Batman.  Batman, one of the 
strongest supporters and architects of the world order, had been turned by 
an alternat Justice League that had invaded from another dimension.  The man 
had no doubt that the invasion had been begun from this side, probably by 
misguided elements of the JLA that wished to extend their "enlightenment" to 
another world.

"Freeze!"   The man turned, and saw a "cop" with his weapon pointed at him. 
"Put the evidence down!"

"Evidence?" the man repeated incredulously.  "It's a discarded newspaper."

"It's evidence in a crime," the cop snarled.  "And you're obstructing 
justice.  You're under arrest."

A low chuckle rose from the man, which quickly turned into full blown 
laughter.  He took off his hat, exposing a colourful mask that clearly 
identified him as a costumed crusader of some sort.  He bowed floridly to 
the crowd that now watched him, and recited cheerfully:

"Since I cannot prove a lover,
To entertain these fair well-spoken days,
I am determined to prove a villain
And hate the idle pleasures of these days.

"Tell the Justice League this:  'They have made a mockery of Justice, and 
have profaned the very things they stood for.  I shall tear down their 
abomination, even though I will be named a villian for it. Seraph has come 
to their world, and The Inquisition has begun.."

And with that, the man faded from view. 

***

God's Toy: Justicle League's Dark Universe

Inquisition