Guy's Poker Night

***

A Silly Crossover Shortfic

All characters owned by the people who own them.  Don't sue me, I've got 
no money to take.

***

[Camera opens on a small, single room appartment.  Three men sit around 
a pile of chips on the floor.  Beside one of them there's a bottle of 
sake, and there are various bowls of chips and other snacks scattered 
around.  The door opens, and a buxom, red-headed girl enters.  One of 
the men, a ratty-looking but somehow handsome brown-haired teenager, 
jumps up.]

Brown-hair: Sweeto!

[Runs to molest the redhead, gets stopped by her fist in his face.]

Girl: Ataru, how many times do I have to tell you, I'm a guy!

[She lets Ataru drop to the ground, and looks at one of the other two 
men.  He's older than the others, in his early twenties.  He's taller, 
but is very thin.  He's has black hair, and seems to have a haunted look 
to him.]

Girl: Yusaku, have any hot water?  Otherwise we're going to have to 
restrain the pervert here.

[Godai nods and heads over to his hot plate.  He pulls a kettle off of 
it, and hands it to the girl.  She pours the contents on her head, and 
morphs into a black-haired handsome teenager.  He flicks his pig-tail 
over his shoulder.  The other occupants shudder, especially the fourth.  
He's about the same age as the pig-tailed guy and Ataru, but has a much 
younger, rounder face.  He's well built as well, and carries an odd 
stick.]

4th: I have spaceships dropping out of the sky, girls living with me who 
destroy worlds for fun and walk through walls, but somehow that doesn't 
bother me half as much as seeing that, Ranma.

Ranma: [shrugging] Heh. You get used to it.  [Looks closely at the 
fourth man, and notices some bruises.]  Have to save one of your girls 
again, Tenchi?

Tenchi: [grimacing] Yeah, some nutcase kidnapped Ayeka again.

Godai: Been there.

Ataru: [getting up off the floor] Done that.

Ranma: Got the T-shirt. [The four men laugh.]

Tenchi: So how come you're here, anyway?  I thought after the girls 
destroyed your place last time you quit.

Ranma: [sheepishly] Heh.  Well, I found out a way to make sure they 
couldn't find out where I am.

Ataru, Tenchi: [VERY interested] HOW?

Ranma: [grinning] Air Akane.  [Ataru and Tenchi facefault.]  Saw Lum and 
Ryoko on the way.  They're looking well.

Ataru: You're the only guy I know who willingly gets beat up by his 
girl.  I mean, even if she is cute...

Ranma: That macho chick?  Cute?  Are you nuts?  [Sits down by the pile 
of poker chips.  Ataru sits as well.]

[Godai chuckles, and the other three turn to him.]

Godai:  [still chuckling]  Sorry, just reminding myself why I love these 
poker games.  Compared to you guys, my life's great!

Tenchi: [pounding his hands on the floor] ENOUGH!  Less talk, more 
poker!  I didn't arrange that challenge between the girls for nothing!

Godai: [dealing the cards] Five card, nothing wild.  So what was the 
challenge?

Tenchi: I think it had something to do with who looks better in a 
wedding dress... [Drops two cards.] Two.

Ataru: Ryoko.  Hands down.  [Drops a card.]  Gimme one.

Ranma: I dunno, Washuu's kinda hot...[Grimaces, drops three]  Three.

Tenchi: [Giving Ranma a look of pure horror.]  Are you nuts?  She's 
Ryoko's MOM!  Besides, Ayeka'd look way better...[All four guys phase 
out for a moment.  We see images of each guy's sweetheart in a wedding 
dress over their head.]

Godai: [phases in, drops a card] Dealer takes one.

Tenchi:  Raise 5.

Ataru: Meet and Raise 10.

Ranma: [Grinning] Meet and Raise 20.  [The others throw their cards down 
in disgust, Ranma looks suprised.]  Man, one of these days I'm gonna get 
a poker face.

[Tenchi takes the cards and starts to deal.]

Tenchi: Same as before.  [Finishes dealing.]  Hey, Ataru, how'd you 
ditch Lum anyway?  [Ataru reaches into his pocket and pulls out a 
passport.]  Ah, stole her passport again.

Ataru: It works.  She has to go get a new one.

[They play out another few rounds, Ranma loosing most of his stake.  
Ranma gets up and leaves, returning a moment later.  A bit of blood is 
seen at his nose.]

Ranma: [pained voice] Godai, does Akemi HAVE to walk around like that?  
It's bad enough I have Ukyo and Shampoo glomping on me, but she has the 
exact same figure as Akane!

Godai: [smugly]  And how would you know that?

Ranma: Gimme a break, what she's wearing doesn't leave much to 
imagination.

Ataru: He was refering to Akane.  [Grins as Ranma blushes.]  Gotcha.

[A loud crash is heard outside. Godai gets up, looks out the window. 
Pales.  He runs to the door.]

Godai: Hey guys, you better get out there.  It looks like Lum is trying 
to take on Ayeka, she does look good in a wedding dress by the way, and 
Akane's arguing with Kyoko.  If they demolish this place I'm out of a 
home.

Ranma: Oh crap.

Tenchi: Not again.

Ataru: Man, the things we do for the girls we love.

Godai:  Oh well, until next week.

[The four men run outside, and we hear the sounds of violence intensify  
before we fade to black.]