Oh! My Brother!

Chapter 2


All Oh! My Goddess (Ah! My Goddess, Aa! Megami-sama, whatever) characters
owned Kosuke Fujishima.  I'm poor, don't sue me.

***

For every person in a strange situation, there comes a time when suspension
of disbelief, denial, blind faith, or hysteria just don't hack it anymore,
and you have to accept the fact that everything you thought before is wrong,
and nothing will ever be the same.  For me, that time was when I looked into
that mirror and saw a stranger looking back.

Until this day I don't know why I didn't notice it sooner.  Maybe my mind
was just blanking it out.  Maybe it was because the clothing I was wearing
didn't show much skin - I never was one to wear muscle shirts or shorts.
It's not that the man in the mirror didn't look like me in general, it was
all the details that changed.  I was still heavily freckled, but underneath
it there was a light tan that lessened the effect.  My nose had somehow
become more angular, so that it appeared more noble than the shnoz I had
before.  My ears had laid back some, so my face looked longer. My hair was
the same black-brown, if a little thinner and straighter.  On my forehead
there was a tall rectangular mark, like the goddesses' but of a deeper blue.
On my cheekbones there were similar marks, almost like permanent square
tears.  Peeling up a sleeve I noticed I had gained some muscle in exchange
for fat.  It was me, but better.

Most people I expect would have been pleased to go from 'kind of handsome'
to 'almost a hunk.'  To me, it was a horrifying experience.  It was like a
piece of me had been chipped away.  I wanted to look away so badly, yet my
muscles just wouldn't move.  The goddesses had to drag me away.  Skuld told
me later I was repeating "It's not me" over and over.

I was in a daze as they took me to our next destination, the main room for
Yggdrasil.  I'm not even going to try to give you a decent explanation for
the world-tree, simply because I've never seen it.  Apparently it's hidden
somewhere, so the main room is little more than a set of terminals.
(Exactly how you hide a computer that's supposed to run the universe is a
mystery to me.)  Urd cracked her knuckles and sat down at a terminal, and
began typing so fast her hands were a blur.  Eventually she called up an
entry, and showed it to her sisters.  Having come out of my daze, I peered
over their heads (literally) and looked at the screen.

  Christopher Angel
  God of Moments
  Trainee (Class: Unknown)
  Status: Assigned to Earth (Japan)
  Duties:
   Protector of the Norns
   Wish Fuffilment
   Software Designer for Yggdrasil

Those last words were of great comfort to me, and I couldn't help but smile.
"It's nice to see some things haven't changed," I said, then frowned.
"Uhh...one second, I can't live in Japan."

Urd gave me an amused look.  "And why not?"

"For beginners, I don't know Japanese."

Skuld took over, snickering slightly.  "Just what do you think you've been
speaking?"

It took me a moment to absorb that.  We WERE speaking Japanese, and I didn't
even notice it.  Nice trick, that.  As the implications hit me, my eyes
began to glaze.  "I can watch all of Ranma.  I can read all the manga!
Maison Ikkoku, Neon Genesis Evangelion, I can read, see, and play it ALL!"
Maybe this godhood stuff wasn't so bad after all.

Belldandy smiled indulgently and Urd sighed, giving Skuld a disgusted look.
"You just had to pick an anime freak, didn't you?"  Skuld stuck out her
tongue at Urd.

"At least he has taste, unlike SOMEONE I know," Skuld returned.  The two
quickly degenerated into heated bickering.  Obviously, the two didn't have
much use for each other.

Wanting to break it up, I asked "What does the rest of this stuff mean?"
The two looked back at the screen.

Urd frowned.  "Well, that third line is supposed to be your rating, but I've
never seen a rating like that."  She typed a bit more on the computer, and
scanned the words that came up.  On a whim, I concentrated and realized that
the words there weren't even Japanese, they were some odd runic language I
had never seen before.  Urd whistled softly.  "Belldandy, look at this."

Belldandy read the screen closely, and her eyes widened.  "Oh my."  Skuld
read it over and eeped.  They turned and looked at me appraisingly.  Let me
tell you, those three stares are enough to make any guy very nervous.

I was beyond nervous, I was downright freaked.  "WHAT?"  I tried to look at
the screen, but the goddesses' stares drove me back.

"Chris-san, this says we're supposed to treat you like a Limited Class 3,
but your true power level hasn't been set yet," Belldandy explained.  I had
no idea what that meant, but I had an idea I wouldn't like it.  I sighed.
Of course things couldn't be simple, that would be too easy.  Belldandy
waited for me to finish wallowing in self-pity before she continued.  "You
might end up to be extremely powerful..."

"And I might end up to be not so powerful," I finished.  The latter
possibility seemed much more attractive to me.  Don't get me wrong, being
powerful is nice and all, but I was still trying to accept the reality of
'Chris the God.'  Trying to accept 'Chris the Powerful God' would have been
a little too much for me.  Hell, it would have been a LOT too much for me.

"So what does 'Limited Class 3' mean?" I asked.  Out of the corner of my eye
I noted Keiichi watching some blonde guy play a game on one of the
terminals.  Looked like Quake, but I couldn't be sure.  THAT was probably
the most comforting thing I'd seen all day.  It was nice to see gods goof
off too, and use company resources to do it.

What followed was an incredibly in-depth explanation by Belldandy, Urd, and
Skuld on the exact meanings of Classes and Limitations.  I got maybe a tenth
of what they said.  After I got them to slow down, and with translations
from the blonde guy, I managed to get a handle on it. (He was Frey, by the
way.  Neat guy, great fun at an arcade.)

The gist of it goes something like this.  A Class 3 god has roughly enough
power to demolish a city block, or heal a broken arm.  A Class 2 can destroy
a city, or heal major wounds.  A Class 1 can destroy a mountain chain, or
heal any wound just short of death.  Only Boss Himself can bring the dead
back to life.  I thought it was an interesting comment that it's far easier
to destroy than to heal.  But then, that's always true, isn't it?  The
Limitations have to do with how much Boss trusts you.  Belldandy had
Unlimited status.  She can do almost anything she wants, but she's
trustworthy enough not to abuse her power.  Urd and Skuld are both Limited,
Skuld because she's just a kid (according to Urd) and Urd because she can't
be trusted (according to Skuld).  Essentially, their powers are limited to
self-defense and personal convenience.

Somewhere during their lecture, I had noticed we had gotten off topic.
"Look, I just can't live in Japan.  I have a job in Ottawa.  I have a life
there."  An idea occured to me.  "Can't I just commute?"  Hey, if they can
teleport, why not abuse it?

Urd shook her head and gave me a knowing smile.  "You'll see."

***

Those words should have put dread in my heart.  I insisted they take me home
and let me think about what had happened.  Belldandy did the honors, since
she was the only one who had a guarranteed pathway into my apartment
(mirrors are a handy travel medium, I must say).  Well THAT was embarrasing.
Now, I'm not a pig, but I'm not the tidiest of guys.  Having a girl as
pretty as Belldandy step out into your not-quite-tidy bathroom is not very
fun.  You feel like total slime.

Anyway, she dropped me off, and disappeared, making sure I had their phone
number.  She insisted I'd need it.  Obviously, they knew something I didn't.

I found out exactly what that was when I dialed up to work to check my
email.  In a series of ten messages, I was informed I was transfered to
Japan, my salary had practically doubled, my job in Ottawa had disappeared,
and that my location of work was an office just off campus from Nekomi
Institute of Technology.  If I accepted, I started in two weeks.

Now, maybe it's just me, but that seemed AWFULLY convenient.  Actually, I
know it's not just me.  I stared at those messages in disbelief for a few
minutes, and then proceeded to use every curse I knew.  I was sure those
goddesses had done this.  It was impressive, true, but it was just another
piece of my life gone.  I complained against the unfairness of it all for a
few minutes, and then called my parents to tell them the 'good' news.

They were pleased.  Hell, they were ecstatic.  I hadn't even been working
for a year and suddenly I had been transfered overseas and given a huge
raise.  Mom got on the 'find a nice girl' kick again.  I had to practically
threaten her with my joining a priesthood (that would have been a laugh) to
prevent her from trying to fix me up with one of her friend's relative's
daughter.  Dad was proud of me as usual, and made me promise to do good
work, and reminded me of the money I owed him.  Nice to see Dad never
changes.

The high point in all this was my big brother.  Steve's a resident at the
hospital in my hometown, working in the Pathology department.  His reaction
was almost worth the entire experience.  He was downright pissed off.
Sibling rivally is alive and well in my family.  I was tempted to tell him
about my 'promotion,' but decided that would be twisting the knife a little
too much, as much as I'd enjoy it.  Besides, he wouldn't believe it unless I
showed up there and performed some miracle.  As you may have figured out, my
brother and I get along just a bit worse than Urd and Skuld did.

It took some major verbal gymnastics to get around my parent's insistence
that I come for a visit before I left.  I didn't feel up to explaining how I
got plastic surgery, a set of goofy tatoos, and bulked up like that just
now.  Maybe in a couple years they might believe it.  Yeah,  right.

After I got off the phone, I phoned up the goddesses.

"Moshi Moshi?"  It was Belldandy on the other end.

"I don't know how you did it," I told her, a bit of acid in my voice, "but
you got your way.  Frankly, I'm not sure I want to know.  I don't suppose
you'd be willing to take on a border?"

I heard a heartfelt sigh on the other end.  "I'm sorry, Chris-san.  The
Ultimate Force is going to make sure you fuffil your duties.  I'll talk to
Keiichi-san, I'm sure you can move in."

"Ultimate Force?"  Belldandy gave me a quick explanation.  As long as I
lived, Yggdrasil was going to 'fix' things to make sure it's interpretation
of my wish was fuffiled.  That meant I had to be near the goddesses, so I
could be their 'Protector.'

Frankly, I was irritated.  We agreed she and her sisters would help me move
over the next few days and help me get settled in, and I hung up.

I went to my room and stared out the window, watching the sun set.  My life
was changed, irrevocably and completely.  I just wasn't sure if it was for
the better or worse.