Oh! My Brother!

Chapter 8


All Oh! My Goddess (Ah! My Goddess, Aa! Megami-sama, whatever) characters
owned by Kosuke Fujishima.  I'm poor, don't sue me.

***

Friday morning.  The battlecry of the under-rested student rang through the
house.

"AAAAAAAAAGH!!!   I am SO LATE!"

Hmm, I sounded like Usagi.

Urd made the effort to open her door and fling a minor force bolt at me, and
then went back to sleep.  Belldandy and Keiichi had been awake for hours.
THEY never had this problem.  Why Belldandy doesn't wake me up, I'll never
know.  You'd think after living in the same house as me for two thirds of a
year they'd have figured out that Chris and alarms don't mix.

I scowled at Skuld's snickering face as I ran out the door.   Freshman get
Friday mornings off at NIT.  Whoever came up with that little scheduling
setup needs to be flogged. "ByeeverbodygottagoseeyouatlunchBYE!"

Yep.  I definitely had been watching too much Sailor Moon.

I stepped out into the yard, and took a look around.  *Nice day,* I thought.
*Low pollution today, the air is just on the good side of crisp, and the sky
is a lovely shade of green.*

I blinked, took a second look, and verified that yes, the sky was actually
green.  Not a deep green, sort of a light sky green, if you can wrap your
mind around that.  I admired it for a few moments, then walked back inside
the temple.

"Bell?"  I asked, walking through the door.

"Hmm, Oniichan?" she replied, walking out of the kitchen.

"Why is the sky green?"

"Refraction of the sun's rays off of water droplets in the atmosphere..."
She trailed off and blinked as the full meaning of my question hit her.
"Green?"

Skuld looked up from her latest gadget.  "Green?"

Keiichi spat out his tea.  "Green?"

"YES, GREEN!" I yelled.

"What's the racket?" Urd grumbled sleepily as she stumbled out of her room.

"The sky is green," Skuld told her.

Urd blinked owlishly.  "Green?"

"We are not, I repeat, NOT going through this again!" I roared, exasperated.
"The sky is green.  As in the color you get when you mix blue dye and yellow
dye.  Green.  Between yellow and blue in the rainbow.  GREEN!"  I stopped my
rant and stood there, panting.  "JEEZ!"

"Calm down, 'Niichan, you might pop a vein there," Urd attempted to soothe
me, but I wasn't taking any of it.

"Am I the only person here who's grasping the situation?"  I walked over to
the window, and whipped back the curtains.  "Look at that!" Urd took a
glance, sniffed, and went to rummage in the fridge.

Belldandy walked over and peered out the window.  After a moment, Skuld and
Keiichi joined her.  "It's an awfully nice shade," Belldandy finally said.
"Very pretty."

"I kind of like it," Skuld said.  "It's a nice change from the standard
blue."  She and Belldandy locked eyes and giggled.

I sighed.  Great, it was make fun of Chris day.  "Could someone please
explain to me what's going on?"

"Bug," Urd said through a gulp of sake.  I couldn't resist the urge to
shudder at the thought of drinking at this time of the morning.  "Definitely
a bug."

Skuld pulled out one of her toys, and turned it on.  She played around with
it for a moment, and then frowned.  "Oniichan, would you go see how far the
effect extends?"

"Why me?"  Skuld gave me a steady look, and I sighed.  "Fine, I'm off."  I
froze time and flew off.

After a few minutes, I reached the ocean, and the sky was still green.  I
scowled at the greenish hue the ocean had taken.  It looked like it was full
of pond scum.  I walked down to the beach and set time going again, and I
watched the sun in the sky.  Around me, people were pointing at the sky and
talking like it had just happened.  I took a mental note of that and flew
back to the temple.

As I walked into the temple, I noticed the girls looking at each other
nervously.  Warning bells went off in my head.  Those three nervous at the
same time is never a good sign.  "I flew to the ocean, and it's still
green."  Skuld shook her head.  "What?"

***

"IT'S IN ME?!"  Funny, I didn't feel sick.  I looked down at my chest, then
tried to look at my back, giving myself a good kink in the neck in the
process.  "OK, I give, what the hell does a 'bug exhaust port' look like?
I'd think I'd feel something like that if it's in me."  Then another thought
occurred to me. "How do you exhaust bugs anyway?"

Belldandy murmured a few words in the rhythmic language of the gods, finally
ending with a mystic pass at me and a shouted "Reveal!"  Almost immediately,
they all became very interested in my chest.  Looking down, I saw what they
were looking at.

In the middle of my chest there was a swirling red and black vortex, maybe
two inches across.  I brought up my hand to touch it, but my fingers met the
fabric of my shirt rather than disappearing into the wormhole.  "Let me
guess.  Bug exhaust port?"

"It's a small one," Urd offered helpfully.  "I wouldn't be surprised if only
one or two bugs got through at all."

"I feel so much better," I said sarcastically, and looked entreatingly at
Skuld, who was frowning at the device she held in her hand.  It looked
suspiciously like a tricorder, and I suddenly regretted getting her into
Star Trek.  "If you're done making like Data, could you please make it go
away?"

Skuld shrugged, pulled out her hammer, and ran outside, screaming a battle
cry.  Quite a sight, an almost-teen goddess waving around an overgrown
croquet mallet and making like Thor.  As she ran around the yard, seemingly
attacking nothing, her adversary faded into view.  It was only a faint grey
shadow at first, but soon it resolved into a grey-blue fuzzball with eight
legs, a round body, long ears, and buckteeth.  It kept on dodging moments
before Skuld could hammer it.

"What in Tyr's name is that?" I demanded.

Urd looked at me peevishly.  "Do you have any idea how ridiculous it sounds
for you to be taking one of your peers' name in vain?"

"Better them than the Boss," I answered with a shrug.  "What is that thing,
anyway?  I mean, it's sickeningly cute, but last I checked that's not a
terminal offense."  I paused and reconsidered that statement.  "Well, it's
not USUALLY a terminal offense.  But that's beside the point.  What is that
thing?"

"A bug," Keiichi said from the kitchen.  "Very annoying, and very dangerous.
You're lucky it only turned the sky green on you.  When Bell-chan and I had
a bug problem, it was blowing things up."

I looked at the guy like he had gone insane, then looked at Urd for
confirmation.  "You have GOT to be kidding me!  A bug is a software defect.
It's a portion of code that has unexpected behavior."

"Unless Microsoft writes it, then it's a feature," came Urd's snappy
comeback.

I glared at her.  "Ha ha," I drawled sarcastically.  "Very funny.  You're a
riot.  Would you please be serious?  THAT," I pointed at the critter, "is a
living, breathing creature that Skuld's trying to flatten.  How could it be
a bug?"

Urd rolled her eyes.  "'Niichan, we're dealing with a computer that runs
REALITY.  It has so many tasks running that we gave up trying to count them
ages ago and just numbered them infinite.  When one of the tasks starts to
foul up, the others can compensate, but you still get a small zone where the
normal laws of the universe are completely arbitrary.  To make killing and
restarting the task easier, Kami-sama made it so that they'd do that." With
her final word, she pointed at the 'bug.'

I shook my head in disbelief, and sighed.  "I'll take that on faith,
thanks," I said.  "But why does it look like a cross between a spider and a
rabbit?"

Belldandy looked sheepish and said, "Well, it was a lot better than the
goblins they had them look like before."  I arched an eyebrow at her, and
she elaborated.  "There's no reason it needed to look like a monster.
There's these little creatures on Altair IV that died out a few thousand
years ago - I borrowed their form."

*SPLAT*  I turned my attention to Skuld, and saw she had finally gotten the
bug.  With a puff of smoke, it disappeared, and the sky turned blue again.
"Neat," I remarked. "I wish I could do that in my computer classes.  Would
have made debugging a lot easier."  I looked down at the vortex in my chest.
"Umm...so how do we get rid of this thing?"  I suddenly felt queasy. "Or
could you at least make it so I don't have to LOOK at it?"

Urd cast a spell to hide the vortex, and looked at me with a bit of disgust.
"You are SUCH a wimp."

"Excuse me," I snidely returned.  "So how do we make this 'bug exhaust port'
go away?"

"Well," Skuld said as she walked up, a jaunty grin on her face, "first we
have to find out what's causing it."

I had this incredible sinking feeling...

***

"Excuse me?  Want to try that in Japanese, this time?"

"That's what it says," Skuld confirmed.  "The port is caused by corrupt data
in your section of Yggdrasil's memory.  That's somehow causing your personal
singularity to open up into a bug exhaust port."  She peered at the data her
tricorder (It looked like a tricorder, it sounded like a tricorder, she even
HELD it like a tricorder - it's a tricorder) displayed and frowned.  "It's
really weird, I've never seen anything like it before."

"Of course you haven't," a light, breathy voice agreed, filling the room.
The girls and I looked around, and I noticed my that a nearby window was
glowing.  The pane of glass seemed to turn into a sheet of neon blue energy
for a moment, and then an ancient man, in flowing grey robes stood there.
He had a craggy face that seemed to so tired, yet his eyes sparkled with
life.  He carried simple wooden staff made of old, gnarled wood.  His white
mane and beard were so long as to merely form into one mass of hair.  "You
are in very deep trouble, youngling."

First impression: Look Ma, it's Gandalf!

Skuld jumped up and interposed herself between me and the man, while behind
me I heard Urd growl and the telltale crackle of her gathering an energy
bolt.  Belldandy calmly stood and walked over to stand beside me.  Her face
was impassive as she said coldly, "Explain your presence, Father Time."

My mind whirled.  'Father Time,' I had heard that before, I knew it.  With a
sudden flash of inspiration, it came to me, and I blurted out the name.
"SATURN?!"

The coot nodded once in confirmation, and then looked hautily at my sisters.
"Calm yourselves, younglings.  I am merely the messenger of Jupiter in this.
We can settle our...differences...another time."  At their lack of response,
he sighed and muttered,  "Children today, so cynical."  Saturn straightened,
suddenly appearing much more powerful, and...well...godly.  "Upon the
Ultimate Force, I swear unto thee, no harm shall come to thee or thine by my
hand this day," he spoke, in a voice that rang with authority and power.

I felt a more than heard a sort of 'click,' and realized a contract had just
been made.  Skuld relaxed and moved to my side, her hand snaking up to hold
mine as she warily watched Saturn.  Obviously, my sisters trusted this guy
as far as Keiichi could throw him.

"Spill it, old man," Urd snapped.  "What do you want?"

"I have come," he began, and pointed his staff at me, "for him.  Your
so-called 'brother', the 'God of Moments', has been called to complete his
training before he poses a danger to us all."

"Oniichan wouldn't hurt anyone!" Skuld insisted.  "And if he needs any
training, we'll teach him!"

Saturn looked dryly at the young goddess.  "Just like you completed his
other training?" he sneered.  "We gave you nearly a year, and in that time
all you did was convince the warriors of your pantheon to train him in the
arts of combat.  And when he manifested an ability that was unlike one ever
seen before, did you stop to discover its dangers?" he demanded, and then
continued, answering his own question.  "No, you encouraged him to abuse his
power, making it into nothing more than a plaything, not thinking ONCE about
the consequences!"

"Why you..." Urd growled, but I turned and placed my free hand on her arm to
stop her.  Saturn's words were making me think, about the no-time ability I
had gained with my godhood, and what dangers it could represent.

"Wait," I said, and turned back to Saturn, squeezing Skuld's hand lightly to
reassure her.  "What dangers?"

The ancient god glared at me, and I was shocked to see a sort of anger and
hatred in his eyes, as he growled,  "You are familiar with the theory behind
large systems that must remain running at all times?"  I nodded, and he
continued.  "Then you know what happens when a process runs unpreemptable
too long, or if a variable used by multiple processes is changed?"

"It depends on the system," I hesitantly answered, "but usually it's pretty
bad."

"'Pretty bad' is an understatement, boy.  Yesterday, Yggdrasil crashed for a
period of 10 minutes.  The error was traced to a large amount of memory
corruption centering around YOU."

I worked my mind back to Thursday, and thought about what had happened.  I
went to the race, I met Ami, we watched Bell's race, Rachel showed up and
got mad at me..."Oh hell, when I told Rachel what I was."

Urd smacked me on the back of the head.  "Just tell everyone, why don't
you?" she berated.  "It's SUPPOSED to be a secret!"

"She had a right to know," I defended.

Saturn cleared his throat to regain our attention.  "Nonetheless, you must
accompany me back to Olympus.  Your training will be completed there."

"But-but-but..." I stammered, and then my tone slipped into a whine.  "I
have a date tonight!"  I heard a chuckle come from Urd, a grumble from
Skuld, and a sigh from Bell.

"Children," Saturn muttered disgustedly.  "The fate of the world is at
stake, and he's worried about a mere mortal woman."

"There is nothing 'mere' about Rachel," I snapped.  "Fine, I'll come, but
give me some time to sort things out here."  I released Skuld's hand, moving
away from the others, when something occured to me.  "Uh...if my no-time
trick is causing problems, I better not use it.  Can someone give me a
lift?"

"I'll do it!" Skuld cheered, grabbing my hand again.

"Back off, shrimp," Urd yelled.  "You just want to make sure they don't get
any private time."

Skuld dropped my hand and scowled at her eldest sister.  "And you just want
to dose them with another one of your love potions!"

"I do not!"

"Then what's that in your pocket?"

I felt a headache coming on, and began to rub my temples to try to dispell
it when I felt a presence at my side.  I looked up over into Saturn's
disapproving gaze.  "You should not allow your sisters such freedom.  You
are the male of this house, you should control them better."

I gaped at him for a moment, before shaking my head in dismay.  "YOU try
ordering them, I'd rather stay living." I returned, before wandering over to
the phone and dialing Rachel.  "Hi," I said when she picked up.  "You free
right now?  Good.  Do me a favor and turn on your TV and put a some hot
water in a cup, I'll be over just as soon as Urd and Skuld stop arguing."  I
hung up and dialed Ami next.

Why can't things ever go right?

***

A few minutes later, Urd and I stepped out of Rachel's small TV (well, Urd
stepped out, I had to work my way out) and into her living room.  Rachel,
who was laying on her futon reading a book nearby, sort of yelped.  "I
understand how," she said, shaking her head, "but that still surprises me."

A bitter smile was my only response.  "Rachel..." I trailed off and glared
at Urd, who muttered something about having to go powder her nose as she
exited post-haste.  I sighed, and took a deep breath as I turned back to
Rachel.  Damnit, I did not want to do this.  I steeled myself and tried to
ignore the look in her eyes.  "Rachel, I have to call off the date tonight."

She sort of flushed and seemed grow angry.  "Oh, so the hussy got to you,
did she?  FINE!"  She threw the book at me, and I yelped as it slammed me in
the face.

"This has nothing to do with Ami," I shouted at her.  "I have to call it off
because I'm afraid someone might get hurt if I don't!"  Rachel looked at me
as if I had grown horns.  I suppose in a way, I had.  She told me later that
my god marks were glowing when I said that.  Apparently the illusion that
allows mortals to 'ignore' the god-marks breaks down under intense emotion.

"What on Earth are you..." she never finished her sentence as she began to
float in the air for no reason.

"Dammit," I cursed.  I quickly cast the 'Show Magic' spell Urd had taught me
and spied the bug, sitting beside Rachel's futon.  I suppose if I had been
given more time to think, I wouldn't have done what I did next.  I summoned
the longer arm blade and neatly spit the bug on it.  It squeaked once and
went POOF.

Rachel fell from the air into my arms (luckily I banished the sword in
time).  She stared at the smoke the bug left behind.  "Whu...whu...."

"THAT," I said, gesturing with a nod of my head, "was the problem."  I
looked into her face, locking eyes with her as I tried to make her see how
sincere I was.  "Something is very wrong around me, Rachel.  I can't really
tell you about it, because I don't really understand it myself, but I have
to fix it.  Now.  Because if I don't, one of my sisters, or Ami, or you
might get really hurt."  I set her down and started to go to get Urd.

"Or you," she said with a whisper, and grabbed my arm, turning me to face
her.  "You could get hurt too."

I nodded, even though inside I was gaping in shock.  THAT one never occurred
to me.  "I can't take that risk.  The first incident was harmless, and this
one wasn't bad, but it could get worse.  I have to go away for a while and
fix this before it does really wrong."

Rachel cupped my face with her hands, and drew mine down to hers.  "Promise
me you'll come back." she softly ordered.

"I promise," I said with a smile, and she kissed me gently on the lips, a
desperate feather's touch completely unlike our first one.  Deep inside me,
I felt something click, but I ignored it as I hugged Rachel so she couldn't
see my eyes growing moist, and I wondered why this hurt so much.

*Way to go, 'Niichan!*

Releasing Rachel, my face burned as I tried to scowl at a far too smug Urd.

***

Ami's TV was thankfully a bit larger.  Unfortunately, her reaction was much,
much worse, and telling her was just as hard.

"Nononononono!" she yelled, and latched her arms around my waist.  "You
can't leave, I don't care!"

I was about an inch away from telling Saturn and the rest of them to go fly
a kite, but I just couldn't.  I really, really wanted to, but my words to
Rachel kept on coming back to me.

'...if I don't, one of my sisters, or Ami, or you might get really hurt...'

It was like some sort of song that kept on playing in my head, reminding me
that I was a danger to those I cared about.  It was that litany that gave me
the strength to pry Ami's arms from around me, no matter how much it hurt me
to do it.  "I promise, Ami," I said gently.  "No matter what, no matter who
stands in my way, I'll come back to you."  I felt another 'click'
reverberate through the room, and kissed Ami on the forehead.  "I've got to
go, now."

"Not yet, you don't," Ami growled, and hooked her leg around mine and pushed
herself against me, knocking me backwards onto the floor.   She began to
kiss me ardently, mashing her lips against mine as she began to unbutton my
shirt.

*Whoohoo!  Finally, some action!*  I've really got to talk ot Urd about her
spying on me.  She should at least have the decency to clamp down on those
little telepathic emissions.

Waitasec.  Brain to body: Did you say unbutton my shirt?

Body to brain: Yeah, what about it?

Brain to body: HOLD EVERYTHING!

With a force of will that was superhuman in magnitude (hey, I'm a god,
EVERYTHING I do is superhuman - you may groan now) I grabbed Ami's hands and
stopped her from doing any further.  "No."

"Huh?" Ami gasped, and halfheartedly tried to pull her hands from mine.
"What's wrong with you?"

I pushed her to the side, and sat up.  "I...I can't do this."

*WHAT?!*

Ami gaped at me, as if she couldn't comprehend my actions.  Her face began
to tear up, as the first conclusion came to her mind, and she sniffled,
"Y-you don't l-like m-me?  You j-just think I-I'm a sl-"

"NO!" I roared, and embraced her tightly.  "I don't think that.  Don't even
start to imagine I think that!"

"Then WHY?"

"Because," I began, then faltered as words failed to come to me.  I was
silent for a long second, and then like a flash, it came to me.  "I care
about you, Ami.  A lot.  I don't know why, I barely know you.  But I don't
know if I love you, not yet, and..." don't chicken out now, Chris, bite the
bullet, "and I care about Rachel the same way."

"What does that have to do with sex?"

I smiled crookedly, and sighed.  "I guess I'm a prude, but I have to know,
first.  I have to know I love someone before I can go that far with them."

Ami smiled wanly, and kissed me on the cheek.  "You're not a prude, you're
sweet."  She began to re-button my shirt.  "I can respect that, Chris.  It's
almost refreshing."  She suddenly began to giggle.  "I wonder how long it'll
take me to break you down."  I tried to glower at her, but the sparkle of
amusement in her eyes and the sudden release of the sexual tension in the
air made me join her.

A few minutes later, Ami stood, and moved to the door to her one-room
apartment, letting Urd in, who bestowed a particularly annoyed glare upon
me.  "You can take him home now."

Urd walked over, grabbed my by the ear, and dragged me out of the
appartment.  "You and I are going to talk.  NOW."

"Owowowowow, leggo my ear!"

***

"What is WRONG with you?" Urd demanded of me while I packed my things for
the trip back to Heaven.  "What kind of man are you, that turns down a girl
when she's hot-to-trot like that?  Maybe you're more interested in Ootaki!"

"HEY!" I yelled.  "That was uncalled for!  There is NOTHING wrong with what
I did."

Urd stared at me with an aghast expression.  "Listen to yourself!  A MAN,
saying there's nothing wrong with not wanting to sleep with a girl."

"NO, I'm just saying I only want to do it with someone I'm sure I love!"  I
growled, and turned back to my packing.

"Right," Urd scoffed, and then gave me that appraising look she usually
saved for prospective trysts.  "If I didn't know better, I'd say..." she
trailed off and clamped her hand over her mouth.

"Hmm?"

"Nothing!" she quickly said.  She picked up one of my toys, a blob of silly
putty, and began kneading it in her hands.  "You realize you're in a lot of
trouble over those talks, right?"

"What did I do now?" I asked tiredly.  I get REALLY tired of how I never get
told about anything until after I've fubared.

"A promise between a god a mortal is treated like a wish, 'Niichan.  You
promised the both of them you'd be back.  Kami-sama's not going to like that
sort of thing."

I considered that for a moment.  "Good."  Urd let the putty drop and stared
at me, slack-jawed.  "Then I'll just have to come back no matter what, won't
I?"

"'Niichan," Urd said, her tone suddenly deadly serious.  "Don't play those
kind of games with Kami-sama.  You'll lose."

"It's worth the risk," I replied, and was surprised to discover I meant it.

Urd blinked in surprise, and then smiled knowingly.  "Poor 'Niichan," she
teased.  "Miss your girlfriends already?"

I must have blushed crimson as I turned back to my packing.  "It was hard
telling them, Urd.  Really hard.  I didn't expect them to take it so
poorly."  *I didn't expect ME to take it so poorly.*

"They've grown attached to you," Urd replied simply.  "Just like we have."

"WHY?  I'm nobody special!"  The words were barely out of my mouth before
Urd grabbed my shoulder, spun me around to face her, and slapped me.

She poked my chest as she lectured me.  "What is it with you jerks?  You're
as bad as that idiot Keiichi!"  She placed her hand on my chest, right above
my heart.  "Ami and Rachel can tell what's in here.  You have a good heart,
Chris.  You give it generously, and work to protect those who you care
about."  She stopped and turned away, and I could have sworn I head a
sniffle.  "That's why.  They know how rare, how valuable that is.  That's
why they're both going to fight for your heart Chris."

I didn't know what to say.  Urd's words made me feel sort of proud and
ashamed at the same time.  I tried to speak, but only a stammer came out.
"But-but-but-but-but-"

Urd turned, her normal cheery mask back on, and placed her finger on my
lips.  "Hush," she commanded.  "Finish your packing, and come say goodbye,
OK?"

I nodded wordlessly and watched her leave the room, my mind in complete
disarray.  I numbly went back to my packing, my mind still stuck on Urd's
words.

'...they're both going to fight for your heart...'

Somehow, I had the feeling the outcome of that battle wouldn't be what
anyone expected.