Ranma 1/2: Siblings
Episode 11

All Ranma 1/2 characters are owned by Rumiko Takahashi.  Viz owns the US
rights, and I'm using them without permission.  Don't sue me, I have no
money.

****

"Me and my big mouth,"  Andrew grumbled as he cleaned tables.  He stopped
and stretched, groaning as his back cracked.  Ranma-chan looked over at him
and grinned.

"Hey, you volunteered," she said.  "You were the one who said Shampoo and
Mousse needed some time off."

"Andrew!" Cologne lept out from the kitchen and rapped Andrew on the head. 
"I don't pay you to slack off!"

Andrew rubbed his head as he went back to clearing the table.  He stopped,
and looked over at Ranma-chan as she passed by him.  "We're getting paid?"

"I am, you're not," she grinned back at him.  "You volunteered."

"One of these days I'm going to learn," Andrew sighed, "to keep my big
mouth shut."  He finished putting the dishes in the tray, and took them
into the kitchen to be washed.  He placed them beside the sink, nodding to
Lotion, Shampoo's father.  Andrew liked the man.  He was a skilled martial
artist, even if he had a rather...unique style.

"Great-grandmother!  Father!"

Andrew looked up, and turned his head away from what he saw, a bit of blood
trickling from his nose.  Shampoo had come down from upstairs, but had
neglected to put on any clothes.  He did get enough of a look to note that
purple WAS her natural hair color.  "SHAMPOO!" He yelled, in a pained
voice.  "Put something on!"

Shampoo stopped, just realizing she had come down without any clothing. 
"Aiyah!"  She blushed and ran back upstairs, returning a few moments later,
this time clothed.  "Great-grandmother! Father!  Shampoo is cured!"

On cue, Ranma-chan burst into the room.  "Cured! Shampoo, how?"

Andrew began to laugh.  All eyes turned to him in shock as Andrew started
to roar louder.  Cologne hopped over to him and whapped him on the head. 
"What's so funny?"

Andrew snickered for a few moments, rubbing his head.  "Sh-sh-shampoo,
you'd better get Mousse," he stammered, and started to laugh again. 
Shampoo didn't move for a moment, and then ran up to her husband.

They heard Mousse protest.  "Shampoo, give me some time to rest!"  There
was a few crashes, and Shampoo came back down, followed by a rather beat up
Mousse.  Shampoo marched up to Andrew. 

"Andrew talk now!"

Andrew turned to the sink, and carefully filled up a glass of cold water. 
"Let's just verifiy your condition, shall we?"  He tossed the water at
Shampoo.  Ranma-chan and the others gaped as her form didn't change.

"Shampoo, how'd you do that?"  Ranma-chan demanded.

"Shampoo not know."

Andrew put his hand on her shoulder.  "Shampoo, I'm sorry to say your curse
is only...uh...suspended."  He looked rather uncomfortable, then smirked a
little.  "I don't think Ranma will go for it, though."

"What is suspended?"  Shampoo demanded.

"It's not permanent, child."  Cologne answered.  "The curse will come back.
 But I'm interested to know why you know about this, Andrew.  How long is
it 'suspended'?"  The elder glared at Andrew, and he started to sweat.

"Umm...about 9 months."  Andrew said.  He started looking around, trying to
find an escape.  Cologne started to cackle, and Ranma-chan eeped as the
implications dawned on her.  Mousse went very, very pale. "Congratulations,
Shampoo, you're pregnant."

Shampoo was horrified.  "Andrew lie!  Shampoo not pregnant," she insisted. 
"Shampoo drink special tea!"

"Which tea was that, child,"  Cologne asked sharply.  "You know you're not
supposed to be playing with my spices!"

"Shampoo make special tea she find in great-grandmother's books!  It called
no-child tea!  Shampoo no can be pregnant!" She started to panic a little.

Cologne cackled again.  "The no-child tea guarrantees pregancy.  It's a
fertility drug!  Pack your things, child, we're heading back to the
village."

"Aiyah," Shampoo said, her voice gone.  She fell to her knees, and tears
began to fall from her face.  "Shampoo no want to go back," she wailed.

"Great-grandaughter, you WILL return with me!  Your child WILL be raised as
an Amazon!"  Cologne ordered.  Mousse, recovering, went to his weeping wife
and kneeled down beside her.

"Shampoo," he whispered, "we talked about this.  You don't want to go back.
 I don't.  We have friends here.  We only have bad memories in the village.
 We have to tell her.  We have to stand up to her."

"Shampoo afraid," she whimpered.

Mousse was silent for a second.  "Think of our child.  Would you rather our
son or daughter is raised here, or raised there?  Do you want a son who's
nothing more than a servant to some other woman?  Or a daughter who's like
the ghoul?  Who's child is it?  Ours, or Cologne's?."

Shampoo stiffened, and a fire came to her eyes.  She flared with a bit of
battle aura.  "Shampoo's child," she hissed.  "SHAMPOO's."  She stood, and
glared at Cologne.  "Great-grandmother, Shampoo and Mousse stay here. 
Raise children here, so can raise with love, not hate like village."

Cologne said nothing at first, aghast by the insult.  Her own battle aura
showed.  "You dare to defy me?  Even the both of you can't defeat me."

Andrew glanced over at Ranma-chan, his eyes asking his question for him. 
Ranma-chan nodded back stiffly.  As one, they went to stand by Mousse and
Shampoo.  "Can you take us all, ghoul?"  Ranma-chan asked.  "You mess with
our friends, you mess with us."

Cologne glared at the four teens, her own battle aura starting to flare. 
"You realize what this means?  I will have to cast you out from the tribe!"
 Shampoo and Mousse said nothing, just linked hands and stood tall.  "So be
it.  You are no granddaughter of mine.  Your names are sticken from the
tribal rolls."  She turned away.  "Now get out of my restaurant!"

"No, grandmother, you get out of MY restaurant," Lotion said, his voice
echoing through the kitchen.  Silence followed in his wake as the others in
the room looked at him.  Gone was the invisible, cringing man who hid in
his grandmother's and daughter's shadows.  Here stood a proud, vibrant man,
past his prime but still strong in his skills.  A man who faced Cologne's
hard stare without flinching.  "You never wanted to be tied down in Japan. 
MY name is on the lease.  MY name is on the license.  Lo Shin, an immigrant
from China owns this restaurant, not Koh Lon, the illegal alien.  My
daughter stays.  You go."

Cologne stared at him, amazed.  Suddenly, her battle aura disappeared, and
she started to laugh, loud and hard.  "20 years, Lotion!  20 years I have
waited for you to stand up to me again, and you choose now to do it," she
crowed.  "If you weren't a man I'd be proud of you."  Her humor left her as
suddenly as it began.  "So be it.  You too will be cast out, Lotion.  I
will return, and tell the tribe of this."  She hopped past the teens,
stopping at the stairs.  "Promise me you will raise strong children that I
would be proud of."  She bounced up the stairs.

Shampoo and Mousse watched her disappear, and turned to look at Lotion, who
was standing in front of them now.  Lotion glared at Mousse.  "You WILL
marry my daughter, as it is legally required in Japan.  You WILL apply for
immigrant status. You WILL go to college.  Understood?"  Mousse,
dumbfounded, nodded.

"Father, what happen to you?"  Shampoo asked, a little awed.  Her father
looked down at her with a kindness she had never seen on his face before. 
"You no act like this before."

"Shampoo, I did once.  Before I met your mother, and I married her, I was
much like Ranma.  A proud, strong man.  I am tired of hiding that man
behind that cringing fool."  He straightened, and glared at Andrew and
Ranma-chan.  "Well, what are you two waiting for?  We have people to feed."
 He looked back at his daughter and son-in-law.  "And you two have a
honeymoon to finish."

From the top of the stairs, Cologne smiled to herself.  *Be happy, Shampoo,
Lotion.  That's all I ever wanted.*  She went back to her room, and looked
over her belongings.  She gathered a few things, and hopped out the window,
heading home at last.

***

Andrew, Ranma and Akane ran to school, arriving a few minutes earlier than
they usually did.  They were greeted by the same horde of boys that had
been attacking Kaori for the past few days.  This time, Kaori was sitting
on the wall of ths school, and they boys were glaring at the newcomers with
anger.  "Hey, what's up?"  Ranma asked. "Postponing the action so we can
watch?  I'm touched."

"Stay out of this, Ranma," one of the boys snarled.  "This is between us
and your brother."

Andrew looked confused.  "What did I do?"

"You asked Kaori out!"  another boy cried.

"And?" Andrew looked up at Kaori on the wall.  "What's going on?"

Kaori smiled down at him.  "I told them if they want to ask me out, they
have to beat my boyfriend first."  At Andrew's confused face, she giggled. 
"You, silly."

Andrew's eyes glazed, a silly grin coming to him.  "I'm her boyfriend."  He
did a quick flip, cheering "Wahooo!"  Kaori giggled again watching his
antics.  Andrew grinned over at the boys.  "So, you want to fight.  Good, I
needed a workout, Ranma's getting predictable."  He dodged the jump kick
Ranma leveled at him, and stuck his tongue out at him.  "See?"

"Get him!" Several of the boys yelled, and as one, the group charged him. 
Andrew didn't move, and started to softly sing a little song.  As they boys
reached him, he suddenly reacted, dodging, striking and moving to the music
as he sang.

Ranma, Akane and Kaori watched as Andrew half danced and half fought,
singing all the time.  "He's got a nice voice," Kaori said lamely.

"What is he doing?" Ranma demanded.

"My student is practicing Sung-Fu, Ranma."  Lotion said from beside him. 
Ranma eeped and leapt a meter straight up in suprise.

Holding his chest, Ranma started at the Chinaman in shock.  "How do you
people do that?" he demanded.  "Are you tryin' to gimme a heart attack?"

Lotion shrugged slightly.  "Ancient technique passed down through three
thousand years of Amazon history.  Sneak Up On Student Technique."  He
watched Andrew fight, and clucked his tongue in displeasure.  Andrew had
finished the boys off, he looked up to grin at Ranma and the others, but
paled when he saw Lotion.  "What did I tell you about finishing the combat
before the song is complete, Andrew?"

Andrew hung his head in shame.  "It is the height of poor taste."  Lotion
nodded.

"I see we will have a great deal of work to do tommorow morning," he said,
and leapt out of the yard.

Andrew groaned as he watched Lotion jump out of the yard.  "I am in SO much
trouble..."

"Saotome!"  The teens looked up to see Kuno charging towards Ranma.  Ranma
ducked under Kuno's first swing, and rolled between his legs, planting his
feet in Kuno's gut as he passed.  Kuno continued forward for a few steps,
and then fell forward, planting his face into the ground.

Ranma continued his roll, landing on his feet.  He looked back at the
unconscious Kuno with disgust.  "Is it just me or is he getting even
worse?"

As Nabiki dragged off the poor kendoist, the four teens entered the school,
late.

***

Ranma, Akane, Andrew and Kaori stood in the hall with buckets.  "Sorry,
Andrew," Kaori apologised.  "I should have warned you I was going to
do...."  She trailed off as the other three exploded into laughter.  

"Happens to us all the time," Ranma gasped.  

Andrew gave him a look of disgust.  "Happens to you and Akane all the
time," he corrected.  "I am an upstanding and respected student," he said
loftily.  Kaori laughed.

"You fall asleep in practically every class!" She exclaimed.  Andrew
sheepishly grinned.

"Yeah, but unlike a certain worthless brother of mine," he shot a look at
Ranma, "I do well enough to keep the teachers off my back.  Besides, it's
not my fault they're so boring, and I have been getting up early to
train..."

"What was that, anyway?  That's got to be the goofiest martial art I've
ever seen in my life," Ranma said.  "And I've seen some goofy martial
arts."

Andrew shrugged.  "Musical Voice Martial Arts.  Sung-Fu.  Lotion used to be
a master of it, but he hasn't practiced for almost 20 years.  He asked me
to help him get in shape, and offered to train me a little in exchange." 
He blushed a little.  "He said I have a good singing voice."

"Why didn't he ask me?" Ranma asked.  "Or Shampoo?"  Akane shot him a glare
and he quickly appended  "Or Akane?"

"You can sing?" Andrew asked, amazed.  "Well, Akane I could expect, but
you, Ranma?  I thought you'd think it's for girls or something."

Kaori gave Andrew a fiery look.  "Who says singing is for girls?"

"Not me!" Andrew yelped.  "I'm the one training, remember?"  He indicated
Ranma with a jerk of his head.  "He's the one with the twisted gender
models around here.  I mean, he wont even cook!"

"Cooking IS for girls!" Ranma insisted, his brain three seconds behind his
mouth.  *Oh no, I'm gonna pay for that one,* he thought as the two girls
flared with battle aura and scowled at him.

***

"WHAT?"  Kuno yelled.  "That foul thief Saotome dares to name himself
boyfriend of the fair and mighty Kaori Hidaka?"

"Yep," one of his classmates told him.  "Kaori told us before school
today."

"I WILL NOT STAND FOR IT!"  Kuno stood, his voice deafening in it's
intensity.

"Kuno, hall," the teacher said.  *Damn principal's kid.*

***

"Uncute!"

"Pervert!"

"Tomboy!"

"Crossdresser!"

Kaori watched in awe as Ranma and Akane argued. "Do they always act like
this?" she asked Andrew.

"Nah, they've calmed down lately," he admitted.  "Usually by now Akane's
turning Ranma into a pancake."  He winced as Akane's hammer made an
appearance, and connected with Ranma's forehead.  "Speaking of which..." 
He sighed.  "Jeez, you two, keep it down.  Hey Kuno, what's new?  People
might think you two lo-psjsmph!"  His train of speech was derailed by the
bucket of water Kuno threw at him.

"Andrew Saotome, I forbid your dating Kaori Hida...my God."  Kuno's train
of thought in turn was derailed by Andrew's transformation.  Acchan
wriggled out of his clothes and snarled at Kuno.  "The horror!  Andrew
Soatome is in truth the foul demon beast Acchan!"  Acchan snapped at him. 
"Back!  Away foul beast!  I must flee!"  Kuno ran down the hall, Acchan hot
on his trail.

Ranma and Akane stared disbelievingly at Kuno's retreating form.  "I don't
believe it," Ranma breathed.

"Kuno's afraid of Acchan?" Akane said incredulously.

Kaori put down her buckets and picked up Andrew's clothes, and started
wringing them out.  "I'd better get him some hot water."  She started to
head for the janitor's room, then stopped.  "Acchan?" She asked Akane. 
"Who came up with that?"

"Nabiki,"  Akane replied.  "It seemed to fit."

Kaori nodded sagely.  "It's does.  He's such a cute little puppy," she
paused as a loud growl echoed down the hall.  "When he isn't trying to bite
someone."  Acchan came running back down the hall, his furry face in what
could be best described as a grin.   Seeing Kaori hadn't noticed him yet,
he quietly snuck up behind Kaori.  Akane stiffled a giggle.

"EEEEEK!!!" shrieked Kaori as she felt something very wet and very cold
touch the back of her knee.  She jumped forward, and whirled to see Acchan
sitting behind her, his tail whirring back and forth.  The wolf quivered in
laughter.  Kaori fumed.  "Why...you..."  she tackled the wolf and started
wrestling with him.

Ranma and Akane watched the tousling pair with a pained look.  Akane
sighed, trying not to giggle.  "How immature," she said.  "We never acted
like that."  Ranma nodded, and held out his arm for Akane to take, which
she did.  "Shall we leave these...children?"

"Why, yes, I believe we shall," Ranma replied with a perfectly straight
face.  The two turned and walked three steps before cracking up themselves.